Understatements

Two understatements: 

We spend a lot of time together. It's a good thing I like him.

~Katherine

A Small Miscellany of Notes

July 27

For the first time in months and months, I find myself at a coffee shop with my little books and my computer. I’m seated outside, of course, but it’s a wonderful feeling of renewed normalcy. This area, which is usually bustling with international tourism, is now a quiet place for thinking and writing.

I have always kept a weekly goal of doing something out of the ordinary during the summer break. My kids are rapidly growing out of childhood and into adulthood, so these outings are typically with my younger boys now. (The older two are always welcome but frequently have plans or obligations of their own.) Today I dropped Andrew, Jacob, and a friend off for a time of snorkeling with the leopard sharks. I’m crossing my fingers that they’ll see some cool marine life despite high tide and murkier-than-expected water. They invited me to join, assuring me that having their "momsy" with them was not uncool. I love it so much that they asked! But I also think they shouldn’t have me in tow all the time. Plus, the water is really cold today! 

Ah, it’s a peaceful day.

Not for everyone, though. As a society, questions and unknowns linger long. We wait for this situation to blow over, but it seems to just intensify as it is prolonged. Accusations, suspicions, and corruption run rampant. Evil is an undeniable absolute, hiding in plain sight.

Just like the rest, we are waiting for some sort of plan for the coming school year, unsure how to prepare and proceed. Like others, we have disappointments because some desires won’t come to fruition. And we are saddened by what see happening, even recoil at our society’s response.

And yet, curiously, this has been such a peaceful summer for me.

I hear of the sovereignty of God discussed. It’s true that he is ultimately in control, that not a single thing can transpire outside of his will. We do right when we rest in this knowledge. But personally, I don’t feel at peace simply by hearing the word ‘sovereign.’ You see, God could be a righteous bully wielding this sovereignty because it’s his prerogative to do so. He could execute his righteous justice however he pleases. Or he could sovereignly turn his back on us and leave us all to our own doomed devices.

No, for me peace comes with the remembrance that God is good. His goodness towards us is that which is loving and kind, and he promises only good to those who belong to him. Yes, he is fully sovereign in all things and at all times, but his goodness fully permeates his sovereignty. There is nothing to fear when his sovereignty assures that we are in his care— his good, kind, and protective care.

And that changes my perspective all the time. 

..>>:<<..

Notebook scribbles: Undated

Beware what you give to unstable friendships.

Beware of self-serving religiosity.

Beware of humble words where humble actions are lacking.

Beware of the arrogant grin, comments from under the breath, and sideway glances.

Beware of lip service.

Beware of duplicitous behavior.

Beware of thinking Proverbs are just interesting sayings.

..>>:<<..

Journals and Discussions: On Aging

Aging is a privilege and a gift. (Just ask any cancer survivor.) 

Learn to embrace it.

To the young that mock it, just know that you are aging at the very same pace as all the rest. Also realize that you are nurturing a culture that will only come back to bite you. Mockery illustrates immaturity, even foolishness; it does not glamorize youthfulness.

On the other hand, maturity is a responsibility. Maturity is the reward of long-term, deliberate wisdom acquisition. It is a responsibility not only because it is a hard-earned treasure, but also because it must be passed along. Aging, however, is not synonymous to maturity gained through wisdom. Value the aged, but nurture intimate friendships with the wise.

Also, cognitive knowledge is far different than experiential knowledge. Surround yourself with people who are older than yourself– people who have traveled farther and longer, who have lived with purpose, and (especially) who have come through trials of various kinds. Remember that not every lesson needs to be learned the hard way! We can learn from imitation and practice.

Finally, true wisdom is a close companion of humility.

..>>:<<..

A quote from the back of a notebook: On God's sovereignty and on words

"He speaks and crafts every piece of matter woven into those scenes, and that is why they happen. His speaking is their happening." (source unknown)

I am studying the power of words. Kind words or slander... they are both powerful in their own way. 

True words are from God, whereas slander, by it's very definition and history, is from the devil and Satan-like.

Words build up or destroy; they can have the power of life and death. 

God's Word is living, active, and eternal; it will not return void; it cuts like a double-edge sword and discerns the intentions of the heart.

The gospel are words of LIFE! Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.

We came to be, we live, and we die according to God's spoken word. 

Words matter.

..>>:<<..

Lessons from Jesus: On relationship and new life

It has been said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so I've decided to spend more time with Jesus in the Gospels. These are my observations on how He related with the woman at the well, so that I might learn:

Jesus was compassionate; he gave respect and regard to the woman as a created being.

Jesus was grateful to receive refreshment from someone commonly deemed "lesser" and "defiled."

Jesus's motivation was not to condemn and shame, but to set free from the vain pursuits of this life.

Jesus offers relationship, not formalities; he does not demand works for approval.

Jesus shows us it is most loving to share truth than to hide it in fear of offending. 

Truth must be shared lovingly.

Jesus demonstrates that relationship with God will nourish and sustain our being far more than mere earthly sustenance. True life is lived in the spiritual realm.

Jesus saves and transforms. Relationship with Christ changes a person; they are a new creation. The changed person, then, will do the will of God because of that change. 

The Spirit of God empowers that change, day by day.

 

Isn't the progression of Jesus's interaction wonderfully fascinating? From the initial moment of contact to His indwelling power, we can learn from him and rejoice because of him!

..>>:<<..

Images: July 15

I was perched on a cliff trying to get close while keeping my gear dry, all paparazzi-like. 

My boys assure me it's okay to be paparazzi-like.

Jacob... Always with a flip.

Andrew... Always trying something.

Jacob... Thumbs up.

Andrew... Feet up.

Favorite shot, below.

They jumped till the sun set. Over and over again, they jumped.

~Katherine

No Change of Plan

Weird week, yes? Everything came to a grinding stop pretty rapidly; each day seems to bring a new plan. Or just no plan. It has been an interesting thing to observe, that’s for sure.

On the upside to all the disappointments of cancelled events, everyone is home together and healthy. That’s pretty much all a mother could dream of in time of national crisis! Now I’ve got to figure out how to make six people breakfast, lunch, and dinner every single day even though the grocery store shelves are pretty much empty. Though I have plenty of food, it’s time to get creative without a few staples. At least we have toilet paper. 

As the schedule began to clear, my eventual instinct was to think, “Yay! Now I have more time! Let’s have people over and serve a big Sunday brunch before we watch the sermon together.” But then came the realization of “social distancing.” I went to the store anyway and found no eggs, no bread, no coffee, no breakfast meats, no yogurt, limited fruit and vegetables… I gave up on the Sunday brunch idea, which is probably best for the sake of good citizenship. Irish cut oatmeal could have worked, though, served with all sorts of yummy toppings; or homemade pancakes with maple syrup and a berry sauce made from the frozen berries in my freezer. I had 8 eggs in the fridge this afternoon before Andrew used some and I could have made other baked goods. There’s always a way, including intermittent fasting, which would just eliminate the need for Sunday brunch! That could also help to “flatten the curve” of another sort! 

Seriously, though, I’m reminded once again that God is in control of the microscopic. (Did you know some viruses are small enough to infect a single bacterium?) Nothing is independent from his plan, including novel viruses, oil wars, economies, politics… and tp supplies. There really is no change of plan, only a change of my expectations for the month. The plan was alway certain from the very beginning of time. This fallen world and human nature, as scary as they can be, are never an uncertain thing in the hands of God. There is always safety and certainty for those who have responded to his invitation of love.

My kids all have plenty of school work that they can access and must complete in the coming weeks, but I’ve got hiking in mind as well. Wild flowers are sprouting, thanks to recent rain, and I see no reason for allowing cabin fever to strike.

Stay well, friends. And love well…

~Katherine

Hello Spring

This week has felt like spring. Fragrance of jasmine and orange blossoms have been wafting in through open windows, and bunches of flowers from the yard fill my house. Those who have been home during the day have sat out in the sun on the deck for lunch. I blended fresh orange-pineapple smoothies for breakfast this morning, and I'm finding myself dreaming up summer dinner parties. Before heading out the door, I tied a colorful scarf onto the strap of my bag.

Next week will bring rain, but I expect to find beauty and wonder in that, too.

I've recommitted to giving Jacob more unstructured play time in open spaces like I used to with all the others. I think it's probably normal that the baby of the family loses out on some of their childhood as family affairs shift to that which is relevant to teenagers and young adults. It's my strong belief that all people need open head space: time to decompress, explore, sort through matters of the heart, meditate... to always be OK with one's own company, and to be mentally still long enough that thoughts of God and eternality come in. Constant academic pressures, extra-curricular commitments, expectations, schedules, and ever-present noise and distractions of life need to occasionally give way. I'd say this is critical for everyone's well-being.

My new goal is to break away with him at least once a week. Mostly it will look like a lunch time picnic at the beach nearby, like we did today. It gave good motivation to work hard before, and the refreshment needed to tackle the last writing assignment afterwards. Maybe I'll even be able to reduce my running shoe tan line.

Jacob is at musical theater rehearsals till dinner time now. It's after 4 o'clock and the cuff of my jeans are still wet. Ah, yes. Welcome Friday!

~Katherine

Christmas Snapshots

Over six weeks have past since my last post, and in that duration of time a whole lot has transpired. It makes picking up this online journal all the more difficult as detailed recounting seems a task much too great.

A short, simplified list would look something like this:

Birthdays celebrated

Extended visit of my mother-in-law

Several visits from Olivia, plus an extended winter break

Holiday meals and traditions shared

College semester completed

Decorations and creativity
Gatherings with groups, and quiet times too

Enduring friendships nurtured, new friendships begun

Tearful good-byes to dear friends and comrades 

Culinary triumphs and flops: tons of baking, roasting, and simmering

Family laughs, reminiscing, games, exploration (and irritations too!)

A family getaway

New experiences 

Good news from afar

New beginnings, peace, and hope

Especially HOPE, because Christ will never fail us.

The six of us took a leisurely drive and walk on the beach in the afternoon on the 25th. I have failed miserably to take family pictures this year (again), but we did take a few quick shots with my camera timer just as the rain began to fall. Our normal Christmas traditions were tweaked a bit this year, but the result was some fabulous family downtime together. It was one of the sweetest days we can recall.

The last several weeks had me pondering the lunacy that we call the Christmas season, left me praying for sincerity of worship, and longing to apprehend the magnitude and implications of EMMANUEL. I've thought about the many things that have come to pass in a decade of time, and wondered at all the probabilities and possibilities for the next. How I wish I had time and freedom to write more here!

I am so grateful at the culmination of another year but even more eager to forge ahead. Onward. I have no new resolutions except to continue keeping on, pressing ahead in the faith and steadfastness won for me through Christ. 

~Katherine

Simple Wonderment

Cooler temperatures and rain swept in last evening, replacing hot and dry Santa Ana winds. It seems appropriate with the holidays just around the corner. I guess it's time to "winterize" and cozy up. I won't complain!

Just two more days and schools will be out for a week, and we couldn't be more pleased. We've been impatient for change. Michael and I drove up to L.A. the last two weekends - I spent time with Olivia while he caught up with friends. Let me just say that driving through Southern California cities in weekend traffic with a student driver is one of the most terrifying things ever. I'm not sure if my heart is stronger or weaker after about 10 hours of pretending I wasn't near death. But I do what I gotta do for my kids, and now Michael has built up more driving experience and I've provided a way for him to build and maintain some good friendships. 

I came across these pictures a few days ago as I waited on Michael in the car, sorting through images in a dark community college parking lot. Several weeks ago on a Sunday afternoon, Michael called from the bottom of the stairs saying we should go see the sunset. We both grabbed our cameras and arrived just as the sun was slipping below the horizon. It was a bit too late for the particular sights we hoped to see and pictures we hoped to take, but I'll take any time chasing beauty with my kids. Truly, it thrills me to no end.

He turned and gave me permission to take his picture, and I went and messed it up. So here's a dark silhouette of my tall guy.

He had a long day of school today - 12 hrs. since he left home this morning. I arrived a couple minutes early at the train stop, and in the dark I could see him step off the train with his vintage camera strapped around his neck. We share a common interest in photography, only his is so much more interesting than mine. While I only use a regular old DSLR, he has begun collecting and experimenting with vintage film cameras. It's cool to hear him describe the things he is learning, and so fun to see him immerse himself into a world of vintage-style images. He tells me about things like WW2 Russian lenses, artistic development processes, photojournalism laws, and the repurposing of antique film. He is learning things I've never even dreamed of learning and I find it fascinating to see how intuitive the science behind photography is to him. 

Anyway, since I had a moment to post a few pictures and a few words, I did. I typically feel like I should have more insightful things to write when I come to this space, but I've missed effortless posting of simple pleasures in life. I've recently taken some time to look back over the years of my blog journals; it has been interesting to see how my themes and purposes in writing have changed. It somewhat struck me that I no longer have a carefree ease of finding beauty AND writing about it.

So this post is for the simple purpose of celebrating and remembering the wonderment of my people and the blessings all around. Cheers to that!

~Katherine

A Summer Summation

I'm just briefly dropping in to declare how thoroughly I am enjoying the summer. I will never pretend to have a perfect life (how boring that would be anyway!), but there are noteworthy things that make me grateful at every bend. Even the hot, sultry heat we had is worthy of thanksgiving; there's something so wonderful about stripping off a few items of clothing after an arduous and sweaty run and taking a plunge in the pool. I'll admit it's slightly indecent, and I never would have broken so many rules of proper conduct before, but - ah! - how freeing! And then when the temps change and cool down, how appreciative we are for restful nights once more.

My kids are all at such fun stages! Okay, it's true I've always said this, but I've always meant it with the utmost sincerity. Every stage has been my favorite. Here are just a few things that have stood out recently:

*There is an added hilarity to a boy's jokes when his voice is changing and cracking. I look at him and marvel at the person he is morphing into. Also, I am frequently alarmed by the sound of a man's voice coming from the boys' bedroom! Oh yeah, it's just my Andrew.

*I white-knuckled my first few rides as the passenger in a vehicle driven by Michael. I'm pretty proud of myself, though, for maintaining normal speaking and breathing patterns despite my distress. Teen drivers make me feel super young with adrenaline, and super old for having teen drivers.

*I had a late night talk with my boys about girls and crushes that made me gush with joy! Wait, what?! He's telling me this? What a privilege.

*A text that reads "I love you" from a son sailing way out in the Pacific while I'm way up in the Rockies is something worth savoring.

*Kitchen work is most pleasant with my girl who cracks jokes and makes me laugh because life is so good and funny.

*Kids that say, "Thanks, Mom, for doing this for us," when in truth I am equally loving all the trips to the beach, sleepovers, ice cream stops, and get-togethers.

*Reuniting. And lingering conversations around the barn wood table long after plates are cleared, while the setting sun and balmy ocean breeze amplify the magical ambiance of the moment.

*Watching a brother-sister bear hug after a time away is pretty rad.

And marriage? Well, I'm pretty sure it just gets better with time. Seasoned. And in many ways we get to relive our younger years before our babies came because we are too young to have kids beginning to fly the coup. We'll ring in 21 years tomorrow, the age of adulthood. For the record, I plan on us living a bit like we're in our twenties for the the next decade!

Jon and I sat across from each other on our overnight getaway and marveled, a bit teary eyed, at the goodness of God expressed in the people he has blessed us with through this marriage. We don't take this gift casually, this gift of raising and loving our children. It has all been so wonderful.

Tonight we are all back under one roof again, now that my boys are back from New Mexico. They clocked their ride from door to door at about 26 hours each way, mainly by bus. But by all accounts it was entirely worth it, and it is a thrill to hear them tell of the things they enjoyed the most. A testimony of God's saving work and the resulting transformation in the life of their small group leader seemed to have made an enormous impact. How grateful I am. I prayed fervently for God to give them sensitive spirits that are open to His love and transforming power, and eager for His forgiveness and invitation to relationship. This, I am sure, will be a life-long prayer, but it will always be marked with thanksgiving to a God who delights to save.

Olivia wrapped up an amazing 6-month internship today at a marketing firm, and we are now transitioning to getting her ready to move into a dorm in a few short weeks. The days we have left will all be savored in their entirety, even though I can only aspire to fully enter her joy and excitement.


~Katherine

From the Files of 2010

I was gifted a Nikon D3000 in the spring of 2010 by Jon. I started my blog in the fall of the same year partly as motivation to push myself to learn that camera and kit lens. I never expected to still be blogging all these years later, nor to have learned far more than that starter dslr through it.

I sorted through my 2010 image files yesterday afternoon during some down time, and decided to pull these pictures to post. Most of these are prior to the beginning of my blog, while some are images I was embarrassed to publish, and others just mean more to me now than they did at the time.

March 2010

Shadow Hills, CA (Our rental home)

March/April 2010
Sarasota, FL (Vacation spot with Rourke family during 3-year immigration and permanent residency process.)

April 2010

Jacob and his dreamy morning eyes. He was always the first to join me each day, always ready for a breakfast banana.

Olivia outside our front door. I remember struggling to get the focus right.

May 2010

Antelope Valley, CA

My hiking days with packs of kids goes way back.

Monkeys ❤❤❤

Evidently, before and after a haircut. I always did prefer shaggy hair.

Those lips! Those eyes! That boy.

Three of my loves...

Ages 3, 5, 7

Ear piercing with a sweet friend. Always twinning back then.

Olivia, age 9

My little chick, Clementine. We each had a chicken during our time in an urban farmhouse.

Practicing...
Age 31

Baby teeth. Sigh.

June 2010

Michael, our ecologist, ranger, and collector of artifacts.

Sept. 2010

Jacob's 4th Birthday

Loving on a poor lizard, the way all my boys did.

Stink bug on Andrew's head. Normal stuff.

Soccer Saturdays on the sidelines.

Andrew's first loose tooth. Jon was going to "help" while the family took pictures. This one cracks me up: Michael video-ing in his underwear, Andrew looking terrified and probably trying to convince his dad to wait on the surgery. The tooth did wait, in the end.

My bookworm girl. Still is.

Serious kindergarten business.

Oct. 2010

Breakfast time in the Word with my captive audience.

The chickens, all grown up. Olivia was their mother.

The kitchen help. Jack is wearing an apron that was made for me when I was about 4-5 years old. My grandkids will wear it someday while we make muffins together. 

Oct. 2010
Ottawa, Canada

Jon's childhood motorbike.

Nov. 2010
Shadow Hills, CA

You could say our chickens were pampered a little...

More daily life. Thanksgiving morning prep work...

Outdoor  Thanksgiving meal with our sweet neighbors

The house we called home for a while. Maybe the hotrod was Thanksgiving day entertainment? I don't remember...

Jon's morning welcome after a long international trip.

Happy days.

~Katherine