Christmas Snapshots

Over six weeks have past since my last post, and in that duration of time a whole lot has transpired. It makes picking up this online journal all the more difficult as detailed recounting seems a task much too great.

A short, simplified list would look something like this:

Birthdays celebrated

Extended visit of my mother-in-law

Several visits from Olivia, plus an extended winter break

Holiday meals and traditions shared

College semester completed

Decorations and creativity
Gatherings with groups, and quiet times too

Enduring friendships nurtured, new friendships begun

Tearful good-byes to dear friends and comrades 

Culinary triumphs and flops: tons of baking, roasting, and simmering

Family laughs, reminiscing, games, exploration (and irritations too!)

A family getaway

New experiences 

Good news from afar

New beginnings, peace, and hope

Especially HOPE, because Christ will never fail us.

The six of us took a leisurely drive and walk on the beach in the afternoon on the 25th. I have failed miserably to take family pictures this year (again), but we did take a few quick shots with my camera timer just as the rain began to fall. Our normal Christmas traditions were tweaked a bit this year, but the result was some fabulous family downtime together. It was one of the sweetest days we can recall.

The last several weeks had me pondering the lunacy that we call the Christmas season, left me praying for sincerity of worship, and longing to apprehend the magnitude and implications of EMMANUEL. I've thought about the many things that have come to pass in a decade of time, and wondered at all the probabilities and possibilities for the next. How I wish I had time and freedom to write more here!

I am so grateful at the culmination of another year but even more eager to forge ahead. Onward. I have no new resolutions except to continue keeping on, pressing ahead in the faith and steadfastness won for me through Christ. 

~Katherine

December 2018

When most people have long since posted their Christmas pictures and New Year's resolutions, I'm reaching back to the beginning of December. I maintain that late is better than never.

There was a line that swirled around my head all month, words of a carol that enveloped my heart in occasions of quiet.

"Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth"

Yes, the soul felt its worth because the Lord came to save. His love establishes our worth, makes us precious, makes us whole. What a marvelous truth to grasp, or at least endeavor to comprehend and simply receive. I guess I'd glossed over the words in times past, but this year I was gripped by them repeatedly. Over and over, the words captured my thoughts: "and the soul felt its worth." To feel is far more powerful than to merely know.

December was fabulous: Parts were fabulous in celebration and parts were fabulously hard. I am committed to seeing and remembering the good while learning from our trials, so I will dwell mostly on the good parts today. I pondered the more difficult aspects before the Lord, and speak of them carefully with those closest to me, confident that good will always emerge.

December is for parties of all kinds, especially birthdays. Although Andrew's birthday is at the end of November, he celebrated with friends a week later. (The power went out that night and we spent the bulk of our time iceskating, so I have limited pictures on my DSLR.)

Fourteen years for Andrew. He's doing life well. He is hard-working, entrepreneurial, disciplined, kind. In the car this morning, he told me how yesterday's sermon from Psalm 90 helped him to further understand God's eternality and the immeasurable grace of his forgiveness. I have so much to be thankful for.

A Sunday morning "birthday" picture, below~

This one makes me smile. The placement of his hand is proof that the early teen years are awkward, a time of growing comfortable in how one projects himself to the public. Is it OK to show affection to your mother? Naturally and regularly affectionate, his uneasiness humors me. I am reminded that we are in a season where both my understanding and affirmation are important in his development. (Evidently, I forgot to stand straight and suck in, which says something about how much I care about my "image projection" these days!)

December is for Michael. Sixteen on the 16th.

His slender frame is 6'3" tall. It has become a near impossible task to find clothes that fit. We have to choose between length or width/waist.

The Friday before his birthday, I had arranged to secretly drop off a bunch of cupcakes with one of his friends at school. As luck would have it, it turned out to be a combined lunch hour (all grades) AND open mic. The whole school sang Happy Birthday.

We drove up the coast for a late birthday lunch after church on the 16th, then took in the vast ocean views from the hills before heading back for him to meet up with friends at the theater.

He is beautiful to me. He will be a wonderful adventure for a special someone to discover some day. He is an interesting mix of extroversion and introversion. He is well-liked at school, humorous, and fascinating if he allows you in. He is understated in his skills and abilities, and a wealth of random facts. Things that are unclear to me tend to be so obvious to him. And, if I'm honest, he remains my "wild card." He is the child that leaves me searching, wondering what's on the inside, surprised by what emerges; he keeps me on my knees, sending up flares for prayers, and dangerously more like myself than not.

These days are going by too fast. To those in the infant, toddler, and pre-school years, be aware of the brevity of time now. And if your season is in the bickering middle years, or the smelly pre-teen years, or the precarious teens, endeavor to enjoy each stage dearly. I promise you won't regret it.

December in California is for pomegranates. I was thankful for some regular days of regular home life, afternoon sunlight, a superfood of ruby-colored jewels, and a son who enjoys listening to literature while helping out his mom. I paid him $1 for each pomegranate he seeded, even though he ate a ton.

This December was especially for "lasts." The month is the last of the year, of course, but it marked many other lasts for me. Would this be the last time for the whole family to gather together in the living room to decorate the tree? Probably yes.

It was also probably the last time all four kids accompany me to the tree lot.

We picked out a lovely tree with a wonky top, making it hard to hold the heavy star, but at least we were all to blame for our selection. It took a couple attempts with Jacob atop Jon's shoulders; finally we pulled up chairs to climb up and fasten it. It still gave me grief all season!

Another last: Olivia's last morning departure for her last high school final. I chose to smile past the lump in my throat.

Jacob and I foraged for evergreens and pinecones together. Andrew had more interesting things to do, and I suspect this might be the last year Jacob tags along as I search for Christmas decor. We pitched and bowled the pinecones into the bag before racing to the party store to buy Olivia's graduation balloons.

A short word about reality... December has traditionally proven to be a season of trial in this household, and burn-out has marked us repeatedly. Ministry was never meant to be an easy way of life, so why should we be surprised? Still, we are broadsided at times. We are thankful for some personal time of respite to regroup, reconnect, refocus, exhale, and strategize for a new beginning. (My short word is over.)

Christmas Eve family games~

Christmas morning waiting~

To me, the face of the giver is just as wonderful as the face of the receiver...

One of my gifts: an engraved brass plate for my preacher-husband's pulpit.

Andrew took it upon himself to fill everyone's stockings. He packed them with Coca-Cola bottles, treats and snacks, gift cards, and carefully selected personal gifts. He's claimed the stockings for next year.

This was the last picture on my camera for the year~

Here's to looking at the new year with big, expectant eyes. May our "lasts" toast cheerfully with "new beginnings" like good friends gathered for New Years.

New beginnings. Let that wash over you with joy.


~Katherine

Creating Space

The month of December has been just as full for us as for anyone, and it's so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle. We've had birthdays and events, groups of people in our home, final exams and extra work... Honestly, it's easy to let the important things of life to get crowded out. My mental space is at a premium, too, but in the moments between busyness I am reminded of what is most valuable.

It all comes down to two very simple things: Loving God and loving others. Without the coming of God in the flesh, both would not truly be possible for anyone. True relationship becomes possible. It becomes our greatest goal.

I am endeavoring to create space for those two things. Yes, it is possible to love God and to love others no matter how busy, but I find it important to back away from certain things at certain times just to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually aware to focus on God and others. It's about prioritizing relationship over mere service.

I am finding a need to wrap up a busy season of ministry-minded service to intentionally serve and love on my family, and to spend extra time in meditation with the Lord. I need to do all these things at all time, but some times ministry should serve only my family. They shouldn't get lost in the shuffle.

This week we took a breather and created space just to be together...

I regularly catch Andrew admiring Olivia's creativity..

My creativity comes out at Christmas in reusing and repurposing materials and resources that cost little to nothing...

My audio book-listening guy making his gift tags

Because life is more interesting from different perspectives, and because upside-down is a fun way to start the day...

Andrew prepared small gifts for his neighborhood clients.

He travels to and from his jobs by unicycle, so naturally he would distribute his gifts that way too.

Although he was pleased by all the bonus cash he was given this week, I still have to remind him that his wages are earned and not the result of generous people.

In sort of a spur of the moment decision, I have decided to host a scavenger hunt Christmas party tonight. Several families are coming, but I think we will also end up with a pile of teenagers, some I have never met. This is just the scenario I desire... a place where people can just come and be accepted. In a spirit of keeping it low-key, I am simply pulling out all the gifted chocolates and the cheese and crackers I had purchased for unexpected guest that never came; some of my friends are doing the same. We could easily end up with 40+ people. We have a crazy scavenger list and I feel slightly sorry for our town as we will soon be descending upon them!

~Katherine

Morning Haze

Southern California is on fire. Again. I'm not trying to trivialize a situation that is grave for some; I'm only expressing life as it is for me...

The morning sky was hazy, ashes wafted in the hot, dry air, and the smell of burning wood seemed far too pleasant for the reality of danger and devastation. Occasionally life is deceptive like that: Destruction smells wonderful, and beauty rises from the ashes. I am reminded never to look at life without discernment or without hope. Life would be dangerous and dark without discernment and hope. "Truth and Grace" come to mind right now, and I wonder how to find that beautiful intermingling of hard and fast truth and tender, hopeful grace.

But JOY came to the world and we sing of Him who rules with truth and grace. Oh, the wonders of His love!

How this has anything to do with morning smoke heavy in the air may not make sense. Maybe it doesn't make sense, really, but when I sit to write I somehow make associations that go beneath mere observation. I'd like to think it's alright for me to explore meaning and depth to life by letting my eyes see, my mind think, and my heart hold. Truth and grace, discernment and hope, smoke and light: They make beauty together.

Making beauty together... isn't that a noble endeavor within any relationship? Beauty comes in so many forms. Maybe it's through forgiveness, or compassion; maybe it's by way of simple pleasure, understanding, memories, knowledge; perhaps by acts of service, making art, food, adventure; maybe beauty is found in healing and restoration. There are countless ways to make and experience loveliness, even in the midst of the difficulty of life. It wouldn't be a noble endeavor if it came easily and without intentionality.

In the smoky morning light (which, by the way, was more as a result of my burned French toast), Olivia let me blend her movement with golden haze. We captured beauty in a frame, made a memory for our remembrance, and pursued living beyond the boundaries of obligation and routine.

~Katherine