Wait.

I am thankful today, especially as illness begins to subside here in our home. We had a lovely, spontaneous day out in the sunshine, and in so many ways I feel blessed beyond measure. I am undeserving.

Yet, there is the constant awareness that life here is never perfect no matter how bountiful God's blessings are. If it were, I suppose we might forget our great need.

Soul, wait for the Lord.

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him." Ps. 37:7


"I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry." Ps. 40:1


"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning." Ps. 130:5,6


"It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” Is. 25:9


"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Is. 30:18


"The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lam. 3:25



"But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

I've been enjoying the music of Sara Groves recently, and this song seems fitting.

~Katherine

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Michael's New Look

A year ago this month I posted some pictures of Michael before we began the process of correcting his underbite. You can see those pictures here. At the time I thought the expander would be in place for a short time, but I had misunderstood the treatment plan. The cranking only lasted for the expected two weeks, but he had to endure the awkwardness of the expander on the roof of his mouth in addition to braces for the whole year. Still, I am amazed at what an orthodontist can do over a relatively short period of time.

Last week Michael's top and bottom braces were removed, along with the expander. Here's the new look:

With the purpose of the photo being his teeth, he was having a hard time smiling naturally!

He picked blue glow-in-the-dark retainers, with little pictures of Angry Birds. That's Michael for you! Phase 2 will begin in a few years once his canines come in.

Speaking of new looks, I'm wondering where his blue eyes have gone?! They used to be sooo blue! I do think his current color is quite handsome, don't get me wrong!

And finally, have you all seen Jon on the June issue of Men's Health?



Just kidding! But several people have noted the similarities, and my little boys are still convinced it's their daddy! I think the hat is kinda girly myself... Jon would never wear that! And he doesn't try to seduce me with bacon, thank goodness!


~Katherine

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Our weekend so far...

A Friday picnic dinner overlooking the beach and surfers prior to picking up our race bibs and timing devices gives us plenty to be thankful for. Can I just say I love living here?!

A quick picture before my 5K race, followed by the start line as the kids got ready for their race. We all did better than our first race a few weeks ago!

Ah, and Jon... He's been so busy but I'm thankful he carved out some time for us this morning. He acted as driver, goodie bag holder, cheerleader, and childcare provider while I ran. Love that man!

The rest of the day consists of work for Jon and I, but the kids are enjoying some BB gun shooting, board games, rock collection inspections, and the like.

Happy weekending!


~Katherine

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A Girl Like Me

When I was a kid I always thought boys were way cooler than girls. This persisted from the time I passed the age of playing with dolls all through my teenage years. I thought guy games were daring and fun, their jokes were funnier, and I preferred their simple way of interacting with each other. Could it be that my Olivia-girl is taking after me? Here's how I found her playing on her own as she weeded the front garden yesterday...

Hmmm... It could also be the natural result of being the only girl.

~Katherine

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They mean something to me.

During the days leading up to Mother's Day, I realized just how frequently my kids affectionately show me their love and appreciation. There are little bits of paper, cards, notes, and various creations tucked in my books, along mirror frames, and scattered over the surface of my nightstand and desk top. I am greeted with good morning kisses, little bundles of flowers during the day, and sighs of disappointment when I must leave for a few hours. These are just a few of the things that spoke to me last week.

As moms, we often feel overworked and under appreciated. At times I've longed for more help, more thoughtfulness, more appreciation. But last week as I looked around my bedroom one morning, it struck me that my kids are loving me the best way they know how. They don't know that a mere "thank you" or "what can I do to help?" would be preferable to yet another piece of paper with a scribbled out heart. They don't know that as the housekeeper, I'd prefer for them to keep their rooms clean than to stomp into the kitchen with dirty shoes to deliver another couple flowers, hardly visible with all the weeds and dangling roots. I'd like for them to routinely pick up the dish towel after dinner without being asked.

No matter what they still need to learn in terms of thoughtfulness and maturity, I need to appreciate their humble little efforts that say "I love and appreciate you" no matter what those efforts are, or what I wish they were. Their thoughtful gestures are indeed meaningful. They are enough.

I didn't need anything for Mother's Day this year, even though a delicious lunch and the effort Jon put into helping our kids with gifts was appreciated. The most precious of gifts are given when they are not expected, and those type of gifts --even in the most simplest of forms-- are abundant in our home. I am very thankful for this.

I have always desired for my children to know --to really and truly know-- that they are enough to me. They are accepted by me; they are loved without having to earn that love. But over the years as my kids have grown and life has also grown busier and more complex, I have found it difficult to consistently and explicitly communicate these things to them. I have found that it takes constant effort and determination on my part, sometimes even planning what and how I am going to communicate these things as I start a new day.

We live in a time when motherhood is not esteemed very highly, partly because children are not valued. I read this article some time ago and thought I would post a portion here to remind myself this: It's my job to instill and nurture in my children their value and then, once again, point to the love of Jesus.


"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.


Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.


Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.


But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.


Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.


The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children."



(~Rachel Jankovic)

No matter how grand I like to think of my role as mother, the fact remains that it is a humble work. I am  thankful today because this humble work has brought me much joy and satisfaction. The Lord has mercifully worked in me to see life differently and to find meaning in what He deems meaningful.

Katherine~

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May Days, boys, and more

May. Such a soft sounding name for a month.

I love May here in southern California. We have no gnats, no swarms of black flies.

It's a nice in-between-time: The mundane of academics is letting up, and the busyness of summer hasn't begun. For us school is nearly complete and there's lots of time for extras like field trips, sports, and science experiments. We're wrapping up course work for the year, completing the last few pages of review, or starting next year's work because the law requires a just a few more weeks. We'll go to the zoo, we'll visit museums, and maybe catch bullfrogs at the lake and count that as an educational experience. And we'll listen to audiobooks in the car because that counts as school too, you know.

The kids are all playing soccer this month with their PE class, all favoring that over volleyball and track from the previous months. Olivia has been riding horses again, and her lesson time provides the boys with regular tree climbing/bug catching/jumping off play structure time. We started swim lessons last night, and we're signed up to run a road race later this month. We're not usually involved in so many sports at one time, but for a month like May it's so much fun.

Jon snapped this one before our run one evening...

Of course we still have guitar lessons and tutoring to round things off. We've worked hard all year, catching up from lost time during our move and transition, and pushing ahead. I can't say I mind May at all.

As I wonder what the summer will be like, I hope for another move. Well, no. Moving itself is detestable to me, but we need to get out of this house. We've been actively looking, the market is slow, and my expectations have changed drastically. Ha! We've been looking at some real eye-sores lately. We are leaning towards older homes that have more land and better use of space in comparison to newer homes, and since the price of a dump-y house is lower we could go in and re-do the bathrooms and kitchen, floors and trim,  etc.

Overall, I can see how the Lord has changed what I am looking for in a house. It seems that I've desired our own home for so long: A place where we could settle, decorate, and fill with stories and memories. I've envisioned such a place many times... pretty and just right. Then reality comes. Such a house-- pretty and just right-- cannot be found in our budget!

But I'm OK with that. The years of waiting for the right time to buy has allowed different desires to take root in my heart. Honestly it would still be nice to find pretty and just right, but I don't want a house to be my focus anymore. I want a functional home that can be used for the glory of God, a place where people are more important than things, and where the love of God reigns. Given a choice between pretty and just right vs. purposeful, I choose the latter. It's not that you can't have both, but I think a choice of priority must be made.

~~
Boys. Here are some recents of Jacob. Do you know I kinda cried a little after his ultrasound, when I found out I was having a third boy? I'm sad to admit it! But by then I knew enough about boys to make me fear having a third. Michael, who was merely three, would come to me rubbing "lotion" all over his hands and arms. This so called lotion was smashed snail slime, and he sincerely thought he was doing a good thing in moisturizing himself for me. Do you know that stuff stinks up close? Do you know it doesn't easily wash off with soap and water? Oh, and did you know that snail slime stings like mad when it gets smeared in eyes?!

Anyway, just an example of boy-ness. There's lots of it going on around here all the time, but now I know how cute it can be as well. Ever wake up to a handsomely tanned 5 year old puckering up for a kiss, and dressed only in undies and his father's aviator glasses? It's a nice way to start the day!

Andrew has an obsession with paper airplanes. We've got books on paper airplanes, we've watched youtube videos on making the best variations, and he has a drawerful of his favorites. I've had to limit the amount of printer paper he uses, but all extra sheets of paper that come through our door or into our mailbox get converted into a sleek gliding flyer.

He'll try anything, always hoping for an improvement. Here he taped together several sheets, only to learn that the paper was too thin. He likes to make miniature planes with square bits of notepad paper. Some of them look like rockets, others look like beetles. I should take some pictures of those, too!

And finally,

**Thank you to everyone who took the time to write me a note of encouragement following my last post, either here on my blog or by email. I am touched by all your kind words, and humbled that the Lord would use me in some small way to encourage others. Thank you.


~Katherine

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Something is better than nothing

Unimpressed I scan over my blog and think, "Wow. That's it?"

It's not really what I had intended it to be. It was suppose to record more of our life, more of my thoughts during this journey; I was suppose to be less inhibited by what people might think and how I might be misinterpreted.

It's not that I even wanted to blog every time we did something fun together, or every time there was a sweet moment, or a thought process worth recording. Without trying that approach I knew I'd quickly fall behind and I don't want to impose that sort of pressure on myself. I actually set a pretty narrow scope for myself. I rarely include many pictures of (or thoughts regarding) events and situations that include friends, extended family, or church. I have my reasons for this, but mostly because I want this blog to be a simple record of my years as a wife to Jon and mother to my children. Simple, personal, and uniquely mine.

Yet I look over what I've posted thus far and feel sort of discouraged. So many amazing moments are left at risk of being forgotten because I didn't write them down. This blog represents such a tiny part of my life; so little is recorded and I'm afraid I won't really remember what it was like. Will I remember how hard these days can be, and yet how wonderful my life is amidst it all? Will I remember well enough to be compassionate to my daughter and daughter-in-laws when they are where I'm at now? Will I remember well enough to sincerely speak words of encouragement to them and to other young ladies? Will I accurately remember these years which are so precious to me? Will my pictures and words cause me to recall people and moments and feelings like I actually experienced them?

Am I documenting God's faithfulness to us?

Often times I've hesitated. I've been accused of making my life seem too perfect and of portraying myself in a way that is discouraging to others. It has been assumed that I am not involved in or don't care about certain things because I don't write about them. Actually, much has been incorrectly assumed. Even thought I don't think people intend any harm or discouragement (because I will choose to think the best!), little comments can be enough to make me second guess my decisions or wonder what so-and-so will think if I post on a certain topic.

I guess in some ways I was prepared for that when I started this blog, and prepared to grow a little because of it. The truth is we all assume things based on what is knowable to us; it's the easiest way for us to package our thoughts. I hope this experience is teaching me to be more cautious with my own assumptions, and more confident in what I know to be true of my self.

Yet my skin is pretty thin, and so I don't always record what I want to remember. Of course I could set this blog to private (and some ask why I don't), but for now I see benefits to keeping it public. I think it's part of my personal learning curve-- learning to be who God made me to be regardless of the consequence, and learning to be vulnerable enough to be humbled in unexpected ways.

And so I will continue to document-- hopefully more often, and hopefully with fewer inhibitions. Either way, whether or not I am able to post more often, what I've got going is better than nothing. As much as I desire to bless others in the process, sometimes I will write just for me, for my family, or for the old lady I'll some day be who needs to remember the good old days.

~~

So because something is better than nothing....

Here are some pictures from a pretty awesome day I never blogged about last summer, partly because of the extreme business I found myself in and because of some worries I had at the time. No more worries.

We were vacationing in Cape Cod with Jon's family. For one day Jon, Michael, Olivia, and I took off to Martha's Vineyard. We rented some bikes for the afternoon and peddled for 10 miles along the beautiful shore on this most beautiful day. I'd say the whole day stands as one of my all time favorite summer memories.

The weather was perfect, the company delightful, and location exquisite. We did whatever we wanted to do. Ice cream? Sure! A walk around Edgartown? Of course!

I found myself grinning numerous times as I took the rear behind Jon and my kids, even though no one could see me. All of my senses were tuned in as I tried to let it all burn into my memory. On the way back along the shore, when we needed a small break, we parked our bikes against a sand dune and cooled down in the clear sea.

The ferry ride back to the Cape was cool and relaxing, and I savored the moment as a huddled against Jon to keep warm. Michael sat at the very front to see without obstruction...

Then, arriving later than we had intended, we joined the rest of the family for pizza and some open air dancing. A perfect day.

~Katherine

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