Thursday, May 9, 2019

A Song in the Night

There is a songbird that resides in a treetop near my bedroom. He sings a midnight song when the world is dark and still. Possibly he is in desperate search for a mate, but his melody seems peaceful to me. He even maintains his tune through rainy nights. Though some might find him irritating, he's been my favorite songbird this season and I don't mind my sleep interrupted.

Portions of Ecclesiastes 3 read:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to plant, and a time to pluck up;
a time to breakdown, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak...


The time to speak has come, but to do it with (much) restraint. It is the time to shake off fear of naysayers, slanders, gossipers, and those who desire our downfall. I've spent weeks wondering if I should ever post again, wondering if the likelihood of willful misalignment is worth this freedom.

Funny how a little bird can be a picture of courage to proclaim what is worthy of praise in the midst of darkness and downpour.

I realize this blog has been risky business for years. There have been some who come to pick apart, to judge, and to criticize with less than friendly intent. Despite this, it has never been my goal to present a perfect life that is free of areas needing growth or fixing. My goal has always been to be just a small voice doing my small part of proclaiming the goodness of God despite the facts of my life and my many failures.

I have been reading through the book of James recently as a source of godly wisdom during difficult times. The wisdom contained is priceless; without learning from it I might have been too hasty or undisciplined with my words here. I have suppressed the urge to defend those I love and respect or to lash out in anger and resentment. I do believe in divine judgment, so to suffer quietly is far safer in the grand scheme! 

Chapter three of James speaks of a great forest set ablaze by just a small spark. In the same way, the tongue, though small in size, has the power to execute immense destruction. Words spoken behind closed doors, words written and distributed, and words taken in and repeated have all proven to be like sparks to kindling. The consequences should be no surprise. Words have set aflame a community and a congregation; the destruction has been profound, and the inferno is not easily contained.

Words have immense power whether intended or not. To the fullest degree, they have the power of life and death. When some have mounted a full-out smear campaign, we choose not to play the game in return. I've watched my husband absorb repeated false accusations and misalignment. I have kept silent as the credibility and reputation of my family has been dragged through the mud. I have wept with my kids in disbelief. I have turned numb as friends turn their backs.

It brings us to a pause; it is a forced opportunity to evaluate ourselves and question where our hope and joy reside. The outworking of recent turmoil is newfound resolution. Come what may, our hope is in the Lord. He will accomplish his intended purposes and we trust that our loving Father is always good. Day by day, he promises new mercies and grace to endure.


I took these pictures early in the month of March, when a trial that would eventually feel like a hell on earth was just beginning. Jon came home from a lengthy meeting late in the evening, and he needed to be in L.A. early the next morning. I jumped in the car with an overnight bag in hand, knowing that our time together and opportunity to talk would be extremely limited. We arrived at a little Airbnb bachelor pad in the Hollywood hills somewhere near midnight.

There's something ironic about trials: They always bring what is good. Even then, as it was just beginning, our trial brought deeper connectivity in communication, earnest companionship, excitement at what God was doing, and the wonders of physicality, too. With renewed hope, we were up with the Los Angeles sunrise. God's mercies are new every morning, only some mornings that mercy seems extra evident.



We took a short hike in the hills as the sun continued to rise in the sky, savoring our relationship and the short moments we had together. I'd marry my husband all over again in a heartbeat.





A shot of our Airbnb~
Our little pad was the upper left-hand corner, with perfect skyline and sunrise views.



I took the nine o'clock train out, completing our 9-hour getaway. From my seat I snapped pictures through yellow-tinted train windows, and journaled and listed thoughts from the prior days~


March 5, 2019
Amtrak
Shock and Sorrow

The words 'shock and sorrow' keep ringing in my head as the only words that describe what is transpiring. These words seem like opposite extremes, but intertwined together they become correct expressions of the sentiment.

Sunday night Olivia and I lingered late in the living room, exhausted by emotional drain. We talked candidly of the shock and of the sorrow. Trial has a way of maturing a young heart quickly. She was already born an old-soul type of girl, and I can see this trial forming her into a pillar of strength and a portrait of gentle beauty. She just doesn't know it yet. One thing I've learned in life is that the strongest of people are born through heartache and difficulty. 

My sons, though not all as emotional or communicative, have also learned lessons of character. They are learning the lessons of acting "gentle as doves, but wise as serpents." This will serve them well.

My children have seen their father wholeheartedly submit himself to the elders, to humbly receive accusations, and to entrust himself to his God. They have heard him thank the Lord for trial, and even to rejoice in it because God promises it for our good always. He has reminded us that personal reputation is not what we live for; it is not the prize of our lives, but Christ is. We have prayed together then lifted our heads knowing that God will never fail. We wait to see his handiwork.

In a way, these moments have been a tender grace of God in our family life. I do believe this time in our lives will one day bear fruit in the lives of our kids, and for this I wait in eager expectation.


What ought to be our response in trial?

1. Trust in God explicitly
2. Entrust your well-being to God's sovereignty and his unfailing love
3. Understand that trial is for our good and his glory
4. Walk humbly, finding comfort and companionship in the Savior
5. Endeavor to learn; repent when necessary
6. Remember that in a time of testing, we must be doers of the Word


When we are betrayed...

1. Don't regret having displayed love and kindness; no matter the outcome, it wasn't a waste
2. Keep a tender heart; resist fear of committing to relationship again
3. If appropriate, recommitment to former relationships will take increased wisdom and caution
4. Trust in God's timing and method of sanctifying his children (ourselves and others)
5. Remember that God executes perfect judgment or perfect forgiveness
6. Acknowledge pain, but commit to doing good and loving with hope
7. Understand that trust isn't wed to forgiveness
8. Don't expect apology or acknowledgement of any sort
9. Be thankful for the exposure of people's character and the nature of relationships. Nothing has changed, only now it is exposed. This new knowledge will be a protection.

>:<


Much has transpired in two months. More shock and sorrow, yes, but also more hope, more evidences of grace, more growth. Seasons in relationship have changed, some for better, some not. Much has been learned, and much more has been ingrained in our character as God gives us the ability to persevere. And help comes in many ways: comrades in the faith carry the load with us; truth from the Word is understood and wisdom is gained for its application; a biblical lens helps to interpret people, events, and responses; and the Spirit guides in unmistakable ways.

One thing remains: the love of God that never fails. Because of his love, we can temporarily enter into his sufferings with the hope of sharing the eternal glory. Through shock and sorrow, joy will emerge like a song in the night.


~Katherine


3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your hurting hearts. Remembering all and clinging to the truths that you listed sure helps focus your mind on things that are true. You are such a good example of that. Being reviled by others (if that's what has happened.) is never easy, but it lets us partake in the sufferings of Christ. Paul thought that a privilege. I've been reading in Job - and the first thing he did when all the adversity struck him was worship. That so struck me. Oh that that would be my first response. Hugs. (Carol/ pur-et-simple - I just realized I am signed in to my business account oops.)

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  2. madonna griesemerJune 3, 2019 at 4:52 AM

    Dear friend,

    I was just sharing with Mark this morning the following quote from one of your previous blogs. It’s full of truth to live by. My pet peeve is when people make assumptions and don’t seek to understand.

    “We find out that good communication requires more intentionality and pursuit and careful listening and humility and persistence and perseverance and real love than we originally expected or probably wanted to give. But if we really press into it, we tend to discover far more about that person than we knew before and experience new levels of intimacy and friendship with them. If we don’t, we won’t. The same is true of God."

    I am continually encouraged by your thoughtful words. Our Lord has blessed you richly in many ways and yes these trials are part of His rich blessings. But oh, how it must sting at times. My heart aches with you. You are always in my prayers dear sister in Christ. My life is richer for having known you and I look forward to seeing you soon.

    Love,

    Madonna Griesemer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Madonna. I'm reading your words again tonight and I am thankful for you. xo

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