Bits of Life Now

It's hard to know where to start, what to say, what not to say. I have often struggled with balancing authenticity and maintaining privacy. If I can't be authentic, then this blog is no longer of value to me and I shut it down. However, privacy is obviously necessary, especially for those who have not volunteered for their business to be publicized, or in our case now, when we have a contract that restricts the sharing of the most basic information. So at this point I find it difficult to write honestly since I cannot provide necessary background.

There is seriously very little I can share: The children are here, and our goal is adoption. Most people know that these things take a ridiculous amount of time. Working with the state in this way is like working with the DMV in a grander scale: There is no end to the inefficiency! In the meantime, I cannot post pictures or release any information regarding identity, history of their past, legal status, etc. Two children are in our care and protection now, and I want to do that in a way that honors them.

(We were expecting them here for Christmas. This was in December when I showed the children's pictures for the first time.)

The last two weeks have been a wild ride. It feels like it has been two months at least. Of course we knew things would be hard and we prepared as best we could, but in the midst of this crazy transition and adjustment, the difficulty of it all seems so much more than I bargained for. On the other hand, things have gone remarkably well. Truly, it has been a crazy, crazy time. Every emotion has been present, and there is no simple way to describe this experience. There are adjustments being made on so many levels and for so many people, but on the whole I am so entirely proud of how everyone is doing. There is much to be thankful for.

I think the psycho-emotional-social (or whatever you want to call it!) has been the most challenging, but the logistical and functional aspects of our days have been out of this world as well. This past week: various social workers, appointments, school registration, meetings with administrators, injuries, injury reports, dentists, hours at the ER, flu virus circulating our home, lessons rescheduled, mountains of paperwork... oh, yes, and schooling and housekeeping and meals... and maintaining sanity throughout!

At the end of each day though, when discouragement would seem most likely, there is always enough good to be confident that all of this is just right. I have full confidence that this is right and good. There is so much I want to share: Things the kids have said (the big ones and the littler ones), times when Jon has given me both the grace I needed and the encouragement to press on, difficulty melting into manageability, evidences of God's work and presence... It amazes me how a simple moment can wipe away hours of difficulty.

(Saturday relaxation.)

Yesterday was a nice day. It was a nice break because nothing major happened. I've got to expect the unexpected now, but when nothing unexpected happens it's an unexpected pleasure! Ha!

It was Valentine's Day and I felt loved. Things have been too weird to plan much of anything, but seeing the day as it unfolded made me think of true and enduring love. Jon is my heart throb. Literally, my heart has been pounding for him! I think of him all the time! By breakfast time I am already feeling impatient for his return! Our current situation has not caused me to be distracted from him, rather I just can't wait to be alone with him. Yesterday we did not exchange cards and there were no gifts or flowers or sweets, but I felt so blessed to be his wife. I watched him work hard and patiently endure, and I felt his commitment to me displayed in his character. Romance is nice, but it is not what displays true love. Real love is steadfast love when life isn't easy, when loving isn't pretty. I am in love with this beautiful husband of mine...

(A simple gift from Jacob, who is my latest flu victim.)

I would like to thank all of you who have sent emails, texts, comments, etc. in response to my last post! I am sorry I have not been able to reply to everyone yet, but your words and sentiments are meaningful to me! Thank you.


~Katherine