Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Hard Pill to Swallow

A hard pill to swallow would be the big, chalky kind that sticks to the inside of your throat after you swallow it down with several gulps of water.

We received some news last night and the acceptance of it is, as they say, "a hard pill to swallow." It's on its way down alright, but I can still feel the discomfort of it in my throat.

We put an offer on a house this week and it looks as though it is going to another buyer. This is not exactly unusual, I know, but I had been so hopeful. Originally, after all our visits and online searches, it was the only house that fit our criteria. Just as we were deciding to pursue it last month, it went into contract with another buyer. Then recently it came back on the market and we went for it.

So now we need to come up with another plan. What I do know is that we have to be out of here by the end of this month, Jon has travel plans to China, and immediately after that we start at our new church. I have this nagging sense of instability along with the unpleasant reality that there may be more moves ahead.

I don't thrive in these situations; I don't naturally view them as adventures until long after the fact. In my life there have been many instances when living arrangements have been unusual or uncertain, and yet I still don't roll with it very easily. As a child, my family moved often and we lived in some very trying circumstances. One semester in college I lived in (or slept in) seven different locations between August and December, most of them being less than ideal. Then when Jon and I drove across the US from Ottawa on our way to Los Angeles, we had no idea where we were going to live. We had never visited and we knew no one. The day before arriving, Jon called the seminary from Las Vegas to see if they knew of any vacancies in the area.

Yet each time there was a need-- each time I didn't know what to expect as I took the next step-- God faithfully provided. He is true to His word. I am His child and He is my loving Father. I know that He only gives good things, even if they are not packaged as I would hope for. In the end, it is always for my good and His glory.

This is a tiny blip in the story of my life, and no doubt soon to be forgotten. For today, however, it is a bigger deal that is forcing me to take every thought captive. It's an opportunity to remember (to really believe and live out) the amazing truth that my security is in Christ, and not in a house.

And it's my chance to grasp Jon's hand and joyfully lead our little crew ahead, fully trusting and watching as God provides.

The medicine from this pill is surely for my good.


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