Time, and A Reflection on Blogging

Time. It's such a strange reality, isn't it? 

Last week I wrote 'May' on Jacob's paper because my perception of time is all scrambled this year. 

Then yesterday I ordered a graduation cap and gown, and I ask myself in amazement, "How?" 

I wonder what it must be like to stand outside of time... never hurried, never in want, never worn out; without regret over the past, and without anxiety over the future. From this side of eternity, it seems to be an unimaginable peace.

But for now, time just keeps pressing forward, never skipping a beat, never pausing for a breath. Time waits for no one. The world spins unceasingly, hastening around the sun in continuous motion. Another day comes. Another day ends.

I've regularly tried to pause and take in the moment. I've tried to savor and remember, to hold in my heart the substance of various joys and trials. I've tried to number the days God has given me, both in recollection and in anticipation. I've endeavored to see the handiwork of God and to render Him praise, and I've aspired to train myself to have hope and confidence for the future.

This month marks 10 years of blogging for Days Ordained (with nearly 500 posts). In a small way, journaling here has been an avenue for me to pause and remember. The practice of slowing down long enough to gather snippets of moments and to recall the faithfulness of God has been so very good for me. I'm sure, without a doubt, I could produce a long list of ways this blog has been of value for my growth. Yes, truly, the list would be long! So I am grateful, even in light of the fact that this growth hasn't always been pleasant, nor did it arrive by modes that were welcomed. In retrospect, however, I am grateful indeed.

I have been too shy (and perhaps disinterested) to ever make efforts to stand out in the blogosphere, but I am grateful (even tickled!) by the fact that some of you have followed me all these years. In the earlier days, when I was posting more frequently and my readership was highest, I was even too reserved or embarrassed to respond to most comments. On the other hand, I received few comments in comparison to my audience stats, which only left me wondering who exactly was connecting with my words and images. I've always appreciated when people came out of the woodwork!

Increasingly, I am becoming aware of a particular group of women coming here for insight on some particular issues. As my family grows and the original ease of writing here has worn off, I wonder at times if I might be able to write on topics related to womanhood, relationship, and ministry. While part of me wants to believe I have absolutely nothing to offer, the other part remembers that time and experience have been strict tutors. 

So what might be next? I don't know, except that I'm not entirely ready to sign off. After 10 years, I still find I desire to journal and post images as a creative outlet. And if this blog serves only as a place where I get to push past the discomfort of exposing myself in some way, I am content with that. I've learned that discomfort is the only way to make quantifiable growth in life, and this blog has been such an avenue. In the end, it is still a place for me, just like it was from the beginning.

Simply, I get to look back and I get to look forward; I get to recount God's faithfulness and then place my expectation on that faithfulness to keep us to the end. I get to remember that time has always been kept safely in his hands.

These images are from last month, but they seemed fitting...

Another day rounds the corner as the sun sets below the horizon, and time slips out of sight once again. And so life goes. 

God, give me eyes to see in light of eternity...

~Katherine