Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Unstoppable Love

Monday is nearly gone. In fact, by the time this post is clicked into existence, it may very well be a new day, and a whole new month. It's no joke - time flies.

I finished the last week with the same feeling I get when I cross the finish line of a race. That is, with my hands and arms timidly above my head in quiet contentment. It may not be a glorious accomplishment, but effort and completion are noteworthy nonetheless. I didn't actually have my hands held up after the weekend, but the feeling was the same.

Then night came and the sleep was deep, then restless, then deep again... I felt Jon pull in close to me. What power touch has over me. That moment has whispered comfort and relationship to me all day long, even though Jon was up and gone sometime before our line of longitude leaned toward the sun.

Then my alarm rang quietly and Monday hit my consciousness rudely. A new week started with a new set of demands, and surprises waiting to, well, catch me off guard like surprises tend to do. Prayers went up like flares, and I asked for God's presence and goodness to envelop me, lead me. With my Bible pulled in close, I read through foggy eyes and struggle with a groggy brain. By eight o'clock the house was swarming with contractors, lunches were packed, breakfast was served, and schedules and rides and schooling and all that comprises my life right now was underway. Before we were all dispersed for the day, I led my children through some words of Isaiah. There were too many distractions as men began their work - pounding, sawing, passing through with materials - but I hoped that at least my children grasped one small piece of the passage, or, if not, that they know something of God's desire for us: We are loved and called into relationship with our creator.

Life as I know it has plentiful demands, but at the core of it all I find that it is quite simple: To know and love God, and to share him with others. The other stuff really doesn't matter, especially if I don't get this right.

Discouragement and disappointment comes when I see how swallowed up my mind and affections get with the temporal demands, the necessary stuff of life, and even the delights/gifts that are lavished on us by God. I am so easily distracted, easily pulled off course.

I was encouraged this morning during my time of emergency prayer and much-too-short time in the Word. The Lord is so tender towards me; he reveals himself in new ways when I am empty, softhearted, and desirous for him. I needed to be reminded in a fresh way that his love and his power are not thwarted or averted due to my failures. It seems so obvious, I know, but this knowledge on this day was incredibly helpful to me as I persevered. The knowledge of the completeness of his love and power, and the independence of his character, was such a comfort to me. My failure to truly know him as I ought and love him as he deserves (with my whole being, all of the time with no exception) will not keep him from accomplishing his good work. His mercy, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, love - all that he is - are never diminished because of me. He stands alone, and he reaches into the dark places of our being despite us.

And so, with the task of parenting my dear children - and all the ways in which I wish I was a better, more faithful example of love and devotion to God, and able to articulate and display it - I persevere knowing that he is always greater, able, and unstoppable. We are loved by him in this present state, beckoned to simply come.



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