Thirsty?

Monday. Check.

Many people have already returned to school, but not us. It didn’t feel like a summer Monday, though. I began to feel tightening in my chest and throat, that feeling that tells me things are about to get crazy busy again. In some ways I like the feeling of maximizing my days, squeezing the life out of it, and doing as much as I possibly can. On the other hand, I don’t like the focused, get-out-of-my-way, forget-to-smile person that I become. It’s not the kind of wife and mom I like to be, so I must look for ways to balance it all out.

This morning was marked by figurative loads of school related admin, and actual load of laundry. The afternoon was marked by learning about work permits, online class orientation, guitar lessons, Costco (and being late to pick up from lessons by 15 minutes), gas fill-up (no time, but I’d get stranded otherwise), appointments at the orthodontist, drop-offs/pick-ups of people and things, more orientations, and football practice. While at practice with Jack, Jon called to see if he could help out with dinner. I love him. He is understanding and doesn’t make me feel bad for not having dinner ready before he heads out for evening meetings. He works hard too, but is always so willing to help me. Tonight was more laundry, a workout with some of my kids, a long discussion with one of my sons, and the beginning of reorganizing and preparing the school room. I didn't get our bedsheets back on our bed till nearly 11:00, and now here I am.

I’d like to say that we got it all done, but it looks like tomorrow will be a similar repeat of today. It’s a mix of trying hard each day, getting things done, winning, failing, trying again. Also, coming along side each other as often as possible.

Sigh. The art of balancing it all as a wife/mom/homemaker is something I strive for. It’s really just learning what’s important and what’s not, when to say ‘no’ and when to say ‘yes,’ that people are more important than projects and goals, and that smiling in the busyness doesn’t take extra time. I am reminded just now that peace and joy, self-control and kindness, and also gentleness are fruits of the Spirit. God is here to help at all times, whether they be times of crazy or times of calm.

My goal is to work extra hard at the outset of the week and reserve some days to soak up a few more care-free summer days. Balance, right?

>>:<<

Last week the kids and I returned to our newest surf spot. We were late leaving in the morning, and disappointed when we discovered a long line of cars to get into the state park. We decided to wait it out, never expecting the holdup to last over an hour. When we finally entered, we found out there was some sort of Volkswagen convention. VW's everywhere.

Waiting. Looking.

Cool, yes?

The little rose caught my eye in this one...

My favorite picture of the day: Olivia and her friend, and Jack as we headed back to our truck after a satisfying day.

>>:<<

Thirst. It has been on my mind for more than a week now. In particular, a verse from the passage of scripture that was read in church two Sundays ago has been heavy on my mind.

"On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink."    
John 7: 37

Jesus cried out and made this invitation! It grabbed me and made we wonder, do I really thirst? Do I have an honest desire for the Lord, the kind that yearns for him relentlessly? The Psalmist said, "As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God..."  I have been challenged to search myself and ask if I have a true craving for God, or if I find satisfaction in the temporary gifts He has given me here. Do I desire the Giver or just the gifts?

I decided to look a little further. Jesus said in Matt. 5: 6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Yes! This I understand. I have been satisfied! This comes through seeking God's righteousness rather than striving for my own. My satisfaction has come through receiving a right relationship with God through Jesus Christ. In this way, I am fully, 100% satisfied.

Yet, if I have a relationship with God, there should certainly be a continual thirst, so to speak, for Him. This kind of thirst should be persistent, unrelenting, and only quenched temporarily while in communion with Him, and fully quenched someday in glory. I want this thirst!

But I am left with the fact that I'm fickle and easily distracted and often satisfied by that which doesn't truly satisfy.

So I'm telling God about it and asking Him to give me a greater passion for Him. It seems so backward, even weak and silly: My worship to God is humbly telling Him I have a hard time desiring Him and asking Him for help. But this is how needy I am for His help.

The end of God's Word, in Revelation 22: 17, tells us, "The Spirit and the bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who wishes take the water of life without cost." 

Imagine that! This is the invitation to you and to me! No cost, just come! This is the summation of God's desire for us, "Come," that our thirsty soul would be quenched.

He is so worthy of it... of my hunger and thirsting and worship and my all. And I come with nothing but He still beckons me to come, and to keep coming again.

We sang THIS song in church just shortly after the passage from John was read, and it helped me to realize that the quality and depth of my thirst for Him will never match what God deserves, nor could it ever come near to reaching the end of His limitless supply for me! Tonight I am also reminded of a lyric from Sara Grove's song, Open My Hands, that says, "Thirst is no measure of his faithfulness,

He withholds no good thing from us."

It's a wonderful thing to think on as I head to be tonight... er, I mean this morning!

~Katherine