Sunday, March 29, 2015

Playing Hooky on Real Life

This week I was remembering my pregnancies, and how difficult the first five months or so were for me. Praise God I did have healthy pregnancies, but there were months of insanely miserable days. And yet, even at the hospital after L&D, I knew I wanted to do it again.

Then another pregnancy (which were all planned), and I'd be so mad for not writing myself a note, or taking a video, warning and reminding me of the suffering and desperate nature of my pregnancy days. I'd question my judgment, asking why I willingly subjected myself to such sickness once more.

And then, once again, I'd make it through. And the prize? A precious baby once more.

So this week those thoughts brought me comfort. Just like another pregnancy, where the actual difficulty of the initial months were significantly harder than the anticipate difficulty, there was still an eventual and wonderful prize. Likewise, I knew bringing in two older, troubled children into our home and family would be hard, but living the hard is a whole other deal.

So in the midst of the difficulty, when things can seem so utterly hopeless, I remind myself that there will be better days. There just has to be! Good things often come at a very high price. Sometimes the 'good' is not evident for a while. (It may even be a long while, and I need to write it now to ingrain it into me.)

It has felt like some of us here are just hanging on, making it through one day at a time. I see everyone struggling, and it hurts me to know I brought this hardship into their lives. This has been a difficult thing for me as I wonder if I've ruined every happy thing. And yet, I know these days are character building days; they are opportunities for growth and for dependence on God. My kids are watching me, and my life will teach more than my words. Oh, but in that regard I am often a major failure, too! If I could love better, patiently lead, patiently endure...

Mondays are the one day each week that the new kids are in school. (The other days I work with them to close some academic gaps). This past week, on a whim the night before, I secretly planned to play hooky with my four. We needed to feel freedom from the strain, the enjoyment of a happy day once more. I needed to connect with them, and I needed to see them play freely. It had been plain to see that everyone needed a break, a change from the relentless pressure and noise and turmoil.

So we did. We took a fabulous day off. We left all the "stuff" behind for one glorious day away.

 These pictures transport me back to that day! I am so thankful for my camera, and for the memories it preserves. My zoom lens quit working several months ago, and I miss it, but the simplicity of my 50mm is quite nice.

The boys found a log, and they tried to ride it passed the surf. Unfortunately, it didn't perform as well as they hoped, but it provided some good entertainment.

Blue skies, wide open space, and the freedom to run and simply be. I'm not sure how much longer our homeschooling days will continue, but this outing certainly made me thankful for the flexibility.

After a rip current advisory, the boys moved their play to the grasses and Olivia and I curled up in our blanket each with a good book. Of course I had to investigate and experience a little of the boys' play, too. They played for hours hidden in the grasses and shrubs.


Jon prolonged our time by picking up the other two kids from school, giving them a snack, and preparing a delicious and satisfying dinner for us all. What a guy!

And this day, what a gift!

To start a new week, a simply plea to God from portions of an old Scottish hymn…

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter's power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.


It was Olivia's birthday today, but I'll have to save that for a separate post…


No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear from you...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...