Thursday, July 24, 2014

On Growing Up

My birthday follows Jon's, just a week apart (+1 year). It seems fitting that we would celebrate together in some way since at 36 I have spent the greater part of my life growing up with him. Actually it just struck me now that exactly 20 years ago, unbeknownst to me, I was about to begin my relationship with him. What a ride it has been! I can remember that summer so well, all the feelings and the wonder!

Last week we took off one evening after dinner for the seaside, a simple place for a simple celebration with the kids. Just a few days prior, Jon had his wisdom teeth removed so he was still in some pain and couldn't eat much solid food. With that in mind, Michael and I had made little pots de crème au chocolat with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

While setting up our little spot, Olivia and I talked about my mom. I mentioned that I've only ever seen one picture of her in her thirties, just a small wallet size family picture, and perhaps two or three photographs of her in her twenties. I don't actually own any to even show Olivia. I would have loved to have pictures of my mother over the course of her life time. 

So Olivia became photographer for Jon and I. Maybe one day she will be glad to have photos of her parents in their thirties. This is one reason I have forced myself to step in front of the lens on occasion. 

I didn't want to push it with Jon, making him pose for shots with his mouth all sore and inflamed just days after surgery, but I had to include this next one because this is real life. We must have been calling out to one of the boys who was probably doing something he shouldn't...

The next couple are way over-exposed, but I like them because of my little Jack. He is my affectionate one-- such a fun kid!

A little dessert and football before the sun set...

It's true that my birthdays are increasingly becoming a day I'd like to forget. I wish I weren't so fickle, but I really don't enjoy the idea of getting older! I'd prefer not to look into the mirror and see my skin and hair changing, or know that my back issues will likely remain with me till I see the other side of eternity. I sometimes wonder if a widening middle is a given for those past a certain age. I wonder if slowness of body is primarily permitted or simply inevitable.

I was inspired by a 93 year old man who ran the same race I did a couple years ago, just as I am impressed by the 80-something year old that still teaches dance. I recently saw a really old couple tuck thin white strands of hair into swim caps before heading into the waves with their flippers and boogie boards.  I love to see a fresh faced older woman, fit and confident in her age, not fighting it but accepting and redefining her beauty as it changes.

I believe the choices I have made in the past and the choices I make in the years to come will greatly impact how I age. I also think many people begin to think and act old long before they need to, and I'm not sure why.

I hope to enjoy each season of life for their unique blessings, and I hope I can do it gracefully not acting my age. ;)



  1. happy birthday...and i believe that your kids will not only love pictures of you and Jon, but also your writings.

    1. Thank you, Jessica. I sometimes wonder if this journal will allow my kids to know and understand me one day in a way that a child cannot at present. And if Olivia is married with children someday, I wonder if she will have a sense of companionship with me as she reads through my entries. And if I don't live till old age, this blog will pass on stories and memories, reminding my kids how much I loved being their mom and how earnestly I prayed for them.

      This reminds me, did you ever settle on a way to preserve your blog in a physical format (book/album)? I think you mentioned looking into that at one point, but I could be mistaken.


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