Sunday, July 8, 2012

Pathway for a Change

I have felt a certain disappointment this week as our summer seems to have come to a near stand still. Persistent pain and drastically reduced mobility has resulted in days at home, and children longing for the beach, for bike rides, and evening runs. My kids have done well nonetheless. They have played countless card and board games, colored, read, and listened to hours of audiobooks. They have help me with various tasks around the house and expressed more sympathy than complaint. Jon has been particularly helpful in the evening, and for all their efforts I am very grateful.

Still, it's hard for me to actually be the one responsible for the change of pace. By Friday I was ready to give them a change of scenery, but because I could not manage a long drive or an outing that required much gear, we drove to our little get-away just down the road from our house. It does me good to be out in nature, and the unstructured play and exploration is beneficial to kids as well.

Little pathways have always drawn me in. I have memories as a two- and three-year old walking along little wooded pathways with my mom; to me they were magical little footpaths lined with wild flowers and dancing butterflies. I hope my kids grow up with simple and innocent memories of wonderment and pleasure which they find in God's creation. 

For the first time ever, I see my older brother in the eyes of my brown eyed girl in this picture... and it makes me miss him. 

Disappointments of various sorts seem to abound in my heart recently. I really don't have the right to complain about anything right now-- or ever! -- but rather consider what it is I am longing for and why I am not satisfied without them. These necessary questions can be revealing of idolatry in my heart. Am I looking to someone or something to fulfill a longing that is misdirected?

Probably so.

But there is hope in this process because I know the Lord is changing me and carving me into His likeness! Suffering, disappointments, and trials of all sorts are the pathways to sanctification.

Lord, help me to live in a manner worthy of the gospel...


1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you were able to get out and enjoy your walk. The photos captured the sweetness of it. How kind of the Lord to provide a bit of country for you, nearby.

    It seems that the best way for the Lord to shape us and give us uninterpretable and deep joy is by limiting us in various ways. As he continually strips things away in my life, He keeps asking me "Am I enough for you Laurie?" The answer is "yes" but this is not something we will master immediately or consistently. The prayer of my heart is the same, to live worthy of the gospel. You are not alone.


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