Leaving and Cleaving

The children were crazy tonight. Everything was hilarious to them, making the household volume extra high. Several times during dinner (which is more like an extended snack time on Sundays) someone fell off the bench. This resulted in more laughter or short-lived, extra-greivous tears. I'm so glad they had fun together, but I breathed a sigh of relief when they were all tucked in for the night.

Earlier this week we took a spontaneous trip south and spent a night on the coast. So fun. For the first time I let the kids pack for themselves and it was funny to see what ended up coming with us. I made sure they had included the basics- a change of clothes and undies, toothbrush, sweater for the beach at night, etc., but Jacob still filled his bag with toys and a couple Christmas decorations he got from Sunday School. Michael brought a book he can't quite read yet, and Andrew brought a note pad and pencil. Olivia, of course, was the most sensible; she had extra shoes and outfits "just in case."

Unfortunately, I forgot my camera. I was super bummed because there could have been some fun shots. Oh well. I'll including pictures I took one day last fall at Olivia's riding lessons instead.

She just loves riding! She's very good at it and eager to try new techniques. My somewhat timid little girl becomes very brave around horses.

The boys and I hang out and watch. Or they play and I work at keeping them safe, or from spooking the horses with their noises and movements.

There are a few reasons I had for starting this blog. Apart from it being a place where I can record some of our family times and pictures, I wanted to have a place to remember the things the Lord is doing in my heart. Changes are usually a process, occurring over a period of time and as a result of many factors orchestrated by God. For me, it is sometimes helpful to write out what I am thinking and feeling in order to better understand an issue. It sort of crystallizes an idea. On the other hand, I am a slow learner and whatever I learn today I will undoubtedly need to revisit again sooner than I would like.

There is a fear, however, that some of the things I write may be misunderstood and that some who read may jump to conclusions. It's a risk I take, however, knowing that I'm mostly just writing for myself now and for my children later.

Every time I return to California from a visit to Canada, I wrestle with contentment. I'm a country girl, and I so love the area where I grew up. It's different here. Of course there's lots that I love and have learned to appreciate, but its always an adjustment for me to come back. The mere sight of the yellow-brown smog visible from the airplane window as we make our descent nearly chokes me. But no, the huge lump in my throat is usually what does it.

And so after spending time with my family last fall, I came back knowing that I would have to work extra hard at finding things to appreciate and to be thankful for in my surroundings. And there are many, it's just that longing for one thing can be blinding as well. Over the course of time, my thoughts began to turn to what the Word teaches about leaving and cleaving.

I had always thought of "leaving and cleaving" in terms of people-- parents and spouse in particular-- but not so much about preferences that seem to be ingrained into one's person or personality.

Cleaving is great. I love cleaving!

Leaving is harder.

Sometimes I just have to let things go knowing that what God requires is always so much better. And if there are some things that I didn't know I was holding onto with clenched fists, I am glad to be aware of them now.

But just like other things God requires of me (such as love for enemies, patience, wisdom), I won't arrive at any of those perfectly and instantaneously. It's a process.

I want to be completely where the Lord has placed me. Fully engaged. But sometimes my feelings on an issue take a while to catch up. I desire one thing, but feel something else. Praise the Lord I don't have to be driven by emotions because, by His grace and His transforming power, my stubborn emotions can be corrected. Not only that, but He understands and has compassion on me.

In the end, really, home is where Jon and our kids are. And we want to be where we are certain the Lord wants us to be.

He is ready to pour out blessings to those who obey and walk in faith.

Thank you, dear Lord!


~Katherine

Around the World in an Afternoon

One afternoon last week we loaded up and drove to China Town for some cultural exposure. The children studied a little about China last fall, and our trip made some of the pictures in their library books come alive. Even better, in my opinion, is that the afternoon will be remembered.

There was so much to look at! In every direction, every corner, up and down, there was stuff! The boys especially loved the dragons, and Olivia admired the silk embroidered dresses. There were swords to check out, interesting toys and jewelry, and decorations of all kinds. Stuff for sale everywhere! The food was interesting also, if you could stand to look at it.

Here's my favorite: This old lady was selling her small selection of goods right there on the street. She looked like the real deal and several people stopped to buy from her. Seriously, most people were interested in the dried bird wings.

A little further down the street this man was playing some sort of Chinese instrument. We had stopped to listen for a moment when we noticed another man dancing on the bus stop bench in his socks. He jumped down and tried to dance with Jon. That wasn't going to happen, obviously, so he tried to dance with Olivia. Now Jon was not about to let that happen either, so he stood in front of him as we made our escape. For the rest of the afternoon Jon was extra alert as Olivia's bodyguard.

Providentially, I was reminded about the Chinese people in church today. We had prayed for the people of that country before Jon's trip last fall, but over time we have begun to forget about them. There is such a great need for the gospel, and for the believers to receive teaching, resources, and encouragement. I thank the Lord for the faithful ones there, leading and attending underground churches, and for the missionaries our church has sent out to train and encourage those dear people. I can't help but wonder what my faith would be like in the midst of religious oppression. I think that such circumstances would weed out those whose faith is an empty claim, and that the true body would be strengthened by God's sanctifying work through trial.

I was also reminded that even though the Chinese culture is so different from mine, the same contrast is felt by those who come here from various parts of the world to be trained at the seminary. They must live and function in a strange and seemingly backward culture. 

Later, we drove down town to a French gourmet restaurant and shop for a little treat. I took this picture of the children and I in the reflection of a glass building. I just love Jacob's body language. It seems to say, "Yes, Mom, I'll smile, but could you please stop taking so many pictures?"

We let each of the kids pick out a pastry. I couldn't quite capture Jacob's face as he made his selection, but you can imagine it was cute!

I'm a little partial to the French culture! :)

Maybe next we'll go to Italy, or Korea, or maybe Mexico for an afternoon. 

~Katherine

A reminder for me this morning.

The Lord lead me to a section of text that I was not intending on reading this morning, and it has perfectly realigned my thoughts this morning. It comes from E. Elliot's book Keep a Quiet Heart.

"The earlier that parents begin to make the laws of order and beauty and quietness comprehensible to their children, the sooner they will acquire good, strong notions of what is so basic to real godliness: self-denial. A Christian home should be a place of peace, and there can be no peace where there is no self-denial."

This can only begin with me... Lord, help me to lead by example first, then by instruction.

"The task of parents is to show by love and by the way they live that they belong to another Kingdom and another Master, and thus to turn their children's thoughts toward that Kingdom and that Master. The "raw material" with which they begin is thoroughly selfish. They must gently lay the yoke of respect and consideration for others on those little children..."

The task of parenting is not a passive one. It is not simply meeting the physical needs of a child, providing an education and happy memories. It is first of all the task of nurturing a soul: An eternal soul with an eternal destiny.

I cannot do it by my own strength. Today I am thankful for the much needed grace and strength and wisdom from my loving God.

"We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. For this purpose also I labor, striving according to His power, which mightily works within me."  Colossians 1:28-29

"Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him..."  Col. 2:6

I know the battle for our hearts will rage today, but He is mightier!

Father, hold my hand today. Teach me how to lead.

Katherine

A Quiet Moment

The little boys are taking a nap and the older two are riding their bikes. The laundry has been folded and a closet organized. There is much I could do right now, but with a pounding head I am taking this rare, quiet moment for myself.

Jacob had a scary accident yesterday which has caused me to once again recognize the fact that our lives -our very breath- are in the hands of the Lord. Innocently, he and Andrew had climbed up the back of a chair and onto a high window sill to place their crystals in the sunlight to make rainbows. Jacob, being as he is, decided to jump from the sill to the floor. The problem was the cords attached to the blinds: They had become tangled in the boys' play and caught Jacob around the neck as he jumped. If it had not been for Andrew... Oh, I don't want to think of what may have happened! These chords even had the safety release thing at the end. Today a scab that nearly wraps around his entire neck is a horrid reminder of what could have been, and gives me reason to be ever so thankful for my sweet little boy (and his quick-thinking brother).

The sun is finally shining again. The record amount of rain we received was a wonderful change for us and I am so excited about the green beginning to shade the hillsides. Rain in these parts is a novelty! Several Sundays ago Jon and I took separate cars to church because we had company. I arrived home early and grabbed my camera for a few candid shots in the rain. I switched my high heels for my yellow boots and began snapping away.

I had to remind myself why my boys like walking in the water and mud...

This year I want to have fun with my kids and make memories even if it doesn't always seem practical and reasonable. Our "church clothes" washed just fine, proving to me that it's good to get dirty and live a little!


~Katherine

Last Thoughts

I'm sitting here eating the last few pieces of black licorice that Jon bought for my stocking (but forgot to put it in). Until now I thought I was the only one in this household who appreciated a good piece of black licorice, but it turns out that the little boys have developed a liking for the stuff, too. Andrew asked me if he could have some of his own, so I gave him some in a little baggie to keep in the pantry.

Michael caught his first bird today. He cornered it in the old coop and caught it with his hands, just like Olivia taught him! Earlier at lunch, Jacob said, "When I am a grown up, like about 24, I will buy a pigeon." OK.

This past week has been lovely. We're together and I love that. Olivia finished knitting her pink scarf a couple days ago, so today we picked out some new yarn and spent the afternoon working on some scarves while the boys rode their bikes. Olivia picked a deep raspberry red and I chose a muti-shade of gray. Tonight we watched Because of Winn-Dixie and I baked one last batch of gingerbread cookies.

The kids and I were a little sad taking down the tree yesterday and packing away the decorations. Our tree was still pretty fresh and I savored a few last whiffs of piney air as Jon hauled it away. More than any other year I can remember, I am wishing for a little more Christmas.

Jacob reminded me several times last week that "we love Jesus because He first loved us." We had most of these discussions in the bathroom as I bathed him or helped him with other needs. A lot of our better conversations are in the bathroom, actually. I'm glad this truth made an impression on him, and I am thankful for the thoughts it stirred in my heart. Yes, without God making the first move my heart would still be dark and I would still be living as His enemy. But not only did He first love me, He also died for me and gave me the gift of faith. And He keeps me and nothing can touch me outside of His will. Wow! Simply amazing!

My favorite memory this Christmas was watching my kids open their presents and seeing them play together for hours. They are so thankful with whatever Jon and I get for them, and no one has ever hinted at disappointment over not getting something they were hoping for. I also enjoyed spending time with our sweet family of neighbors... what a blessing they are to us!

In this set of pictures I love Jon's happiness over Jacob's new toy riffle, and how Jacob is just beaming over this new possession. This gift was actually for "Black Rogers." This is the name Jacob recently gave himself and requested we use it.

A new year is just around the corner and I wonder what changes, joys, and trials it will bring. The years are passing quickly and I don't want to forget how the Lord has blessed us and how He is working in my heart. I don't want to let time slip by without devoting myself to doing the things that have eternal value.

 "So teach us to number our days,
         That we may present to You a heart of wisdom. 
    Let Your work appear to Your servants
         And Your majesty to their children. 
    Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us;
         And confirm for us the work of our hands;
         Yes, confirm the work of our hands."   Ps. 90:12,16-17

Katherine