After this afternoon, I remembered just how important girl time is. It's critical, even, as she gets older.
~Katherine
Monday, November 28, 2011
A little girl time
This afternoon Jon offered to take the boys out to the park for a bit, so Olivia and I took the opportunity to head out for a while. We used to find ways to spend "girl time" together on a regular basis, and we've missed it in recent months. We had a nice time together and scouted out a great spot to take the guys.
After this afternoon, I remembered just how important girl time is. It's critical, even, as she gets older.
~Katherine
After this afternoon, I remembered just how important girl time is. It's critical, even, as she gets older.
~Katherine
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
What He Said, and Injuries
"Andrew, you should give me some of your (tooth fairy) money because I made your tooth come out."
Yesterday was my turn to endure a slice taken from my finger tip, thanks to a kitchen appliance and my carelessness. Olivia ran for the band-aids while the little boys thought they should cover me in blankets. So sweet of them to care for me in there own way...
About half an hour later I heard Andrew and Jacob screaming (I mean SCREAMING) as they ran from their upstairs bedroom. I was expecting to see something horrid, like an eyeball hanging from its socket, so when I figured out what was going on I was quite relieved. Actually I was a little amused even if this episode was the result of anger.
They had been wrestling, of course, because that's what they love to do for fun. Andrew got a little too rough, so Jacob punched him in the face. Yes, and he knocked out Andrew's tooth.
So there they sat, both on my lap, crying crocodile tears from the pain of their injuries and from the shock of what took place. This was a first in our home, and they each felt so badly. Andrew was so forgiving, even making excuses for Jacob's behavior, and Jacob felt so guilty. Olivia placed a band-aid on Jacob's knuckle, and I held a cold cloth against Andrew's bloody lip and mouth.
Today they were ultra affectionate with each other, with random hugs and I-love-you's. Boys have such uncomplicated relationships with each other, and I love it.
Andrew's mouth now matches the dark purple bruise across his cheek from falling against the bathroom counter the other day, and he has that adorable sloshy way of talking again.
It is what it is, this deal of raising boys. What can I say? Sometimes I'm just glad for natural consequences.
~Katherine
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Thankful.
We finally made it to the park to feed the ducks on Saturday while we waited for Jon to return home. It was such a beautiful day, but since I was so eager to see Jon again we didn't stay too long. We have been enjoying family life so much since our move.
After the ducks were fed, we ventured off into the open space adjacent to the lake. And we got a little taste of fall...
~Katherine
After the ducks were fed, we ventured off into the open space adjacent to the lake. And we got a little taste of fall...
I just love this kid...
Today I am thankful for Jon who is so committed to me and our family. I am watching God do some wonderful things in our lives and our home, and I am deeply grateful.
Monday, November 21, 2011
He keeps me occupied with joy in my heart
God gives wealth and possessions; the power to enjoy them is also a gift...
~K
Friday, November 18, 2011
Seeking to love when there's pressure to perform
The house is unusually quiet tonight because my kids are all sleeping soundly and Jon is out of town. I've never been afraid of being alone when Jon is away, but let me just say there are some strange sounds coming from the dining area. Oh well, it's too cozy here on the sofa to get up and investigate. It's not worth walking across the cold tile to find out it's just the branch that touches the window, and I'd rather not know if it's a mouse. Seriously, the tile in this place is like ice, and it feels like the cold creeps up my leg bones. Plus, what would I do if it is a mouse?
We've had a couple late nights this week, so this morning I let my kids sleep as long as they needed. Even my early bird Andrew set a record and slept till 9:30. We had a late pancake breakfast and eased into our school day. In an attempt to motivate everyone to work faster, I offered to take them to feed the ducks at a nature reserve close by. They have been saving heels of bread in the freezer for a couple weeks, but with one look outside at the clouds they unanimously agreed that a "cozy day at home" was better. So we finished up our work then settled in the living room to listen to an audio book and color. Jacob fell asleep against me, his head of overgrown hair nestled on my chest. I must have kissed the top of his head fifty times. That was way better than feeding the ducks. Later he helped me make a big pot of vegetable soup and repeatedly told me that I'm "the best mom he has ever had". Sweet kid, that little Jacob.
Yesterday the kids did a bunch of crafts. Some of our plans were scrapped because we discovered that most of our supplies are inaccessibly packed in the garage. I managed to come up with something for everyone to do, even though I had planned for an activity that involved paint.
Olivia took out her needle point and started a new tea towel. I'll have to get her to teach me some day...
Michael has been wanting to try a Crayon project I saw on Pinterest. It didn't quite turn out like the picture, because, after all, he is an eight year old boy who likes to see what happens when you don't follow directions. The melted wax is supposed to drip down the canvas in a rather straight line, but he happily discovered what happens when you blast hot air at melted wax. He had fun and I'm glad for it. He spent more time later hammering crayons to bits and melting them on a paper plate.
His next project is to disassemble that old hair dryer to see how it works on the inside.
I've been a little more reluctant to blog as often since we've moved because the things on my mind might be a little risky to blog about. Of course, not everything about life is meant to be public. My role as a pastor's wife is being redefined again in my heart, and I am learning so much about myself in the process. I know that a good number of the ladies who read my blog are preparing for a life of ministry alongside their husband, and I would love to share and record what I am discovering and overcoming. On the other hand, it is simply not worth the risk of being misunderstood or misrepresented. So until I feel at peace about sharing publicly, or until my mind settles on an entirely different topic, I imagine my posts will continue to remain a little sporadic.
There is one aspect of being a pastor's wife that I feel I can write about, however, but mostly for my own sake. Sometimes its good to write out what I'm working through. Over the last several months I've been evaluating my parenting approach and underlying convictions in terms of being a ministry family. In the process, I've come to see that, once again, it relates more to the fear of man vs. fear of God.
It is a plain reality that people watch the pastor's family closely. Some people are realistic and understand that we're just like everyone else, fallen sinners striving to grow in righteousness. Others are less gracious and more critical. This has been a fact that I've reluctantly come to terms with, and I can say with sincere thankfulness that this position is being used by God to root out some junk in my heart.
Back to parenting though, because I know I can easily go down rabbit trails here! For me, it would be so easy to begin to require my kids to act a certain way (or not act a certain way) because they are PKs. I could point out to them that people are watching. I could impose on them my stress and concern about what other people expect of them. My correction could easily be motivated by the fear of man, by being sinfully concerned about what people think of ME and how well I have trained them. I need to guard what I say to them as we pull into the church parking lot. I need to look for ways to encourage them when we leave and carefully determine on what grounds I may need to correct them.
I don't want them to feel that the pressure is on to perform. Performance is fake, and it will either lead to self-righteousness or resentment. It is not true obedience.
They need to know that no matter where we are and who we are with, our actions, words, and thoughts need to be for the glory of God and out of sincere love for Him. I need to take them back to God's perfect standard. I need to remember that.
All of this has caused me to evaluate what is good church behavior. I don't think it's best to train little soldier-like kids who are seen and not heard (unless it's "yes ma'am" and "no sir" type speech). There's plenty of that in some circles, but to be honest it kind of turns me off. We don't need to be squelching our children's personalities! No, they were each made with a purpose and with a unique personality. We shouldn't seek to suppress that, or deny the simple fact that they are children.
Of course they need to be molded, directed, and instructed. They don't necessarily know what is reverent behavior, or proper social etiquette that varies according to the occasion and to the people present. But the reason for our behavior is to be clearly out of love for God and for others.
I want to love my kids. That sounds silly or simplistic, but I can't love them with a tender affection (Titus 2:4) and withhold grace and acceptance at the same time. I can't love them and burden them with expectations that are not of the Lord.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would mot be a servant of Christ. (Gal.1: 10)
~Katherine
We've had a couple late nights this week, so this morning I let my kids sleep as long as they needed. Even my early bird Andrew set a record and slept till 9:30. We had a late pancake breakfast and eased into our school day. In an attempt to motivate everyone to work faster, I offered to take them to feed the ducks at a nature reserve close by. They have been saving heels of bread in the freezer for a couple weeks, but with one look outside at the clouds they unanimously agreed that a "cozy day at home" was better. So we finished up our work then settled in the living room to listen to an audio book and color. Jacob fell asleep against me, his head of overgrown hair nestled on my chest. I must have kissed the top of his head fifty times. That was way better than feeding the ducks. Later he helped me make a big pot of vegetable soup and repeatedly told me that I'm "the best mom he has ever had". Sweet kid, that little Jacob.
Yesterday the kids did a bunch of crafts. Some of our plans were scrapped because we discovered that most of our supplies are inaccessibly packed in the garage. I managed to come up with something for everyone to do, even though I had planned for an activity that involved paint.
Olivia took out her needle point and started a new tea towel. I'll have to get her to teach me some day...
Michael has been wanting to try a Crayon project I saw on Pinterest. It didn't quite turn out like the picture, because, after all, he is an eight year old boy who likes to see what happens when you don't follow directions. The melted wax is supposed to drip down the canvas in a rather straight line, but he happily discovered what happens when you blast hot air at melted wax. He had fun and I'm glad for it. He spent more time later hammering crayons to bits and melting them on a paper plate.
His next project is to disassemble that old hair dryer to see how it works on the inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been a little more reluctant to blog as often since we've moved because the things on my mind might be a little risky to blog about. Of course, not everything about life is meant to be public. My role as a pastor's wife is being redefined again in my heart, and I am learning so much about myself in the process. I know that a good number of the ladies who read my blog are preparing for a life of ministry alongside their husband, and I would love to share and record what I am discovering and overcoming. On the other hand, it is simply not worth the risk of being misunderstood or misrepresented. So until I feel at peace about sharing publicly, or until my mind settles on an entirely different topic, I imagine my posts will continue to remain a little sporadic.
There is one aspect of being a pastor's wife that I feel I can write about, however, but mostly for my own sake. Sometimes its good to write out what I'm working through. Over the last several months I've been evaluating my parenting approach and underlying convictions in terms of being a ministry family. In the process, I've come to see that, once again, it relates more to the fear of man vs. fear of God.
It is a plain reality that people watch the pastor's family closely. Some people are realistic and understand that we're just like everyone else, fallen sinners striving to grow in righteousness. Others are less gracious and more critical. This has been a fact that I've reluctantly come to terms with, and I can say with sincere thankfulness that this position is being used by God to root out some junk in my heart.
Back to parenting though, because I know I can easily go down rabbit trails here! For me, it would be so easy to begin to require my kids to act a certain way (or not act a certain way) because they are PKs. I could point out to them that people are watching. I could impose on them my stress and concern about what other people expect of them. My correction could easily be motivated by the fear of man, by being sinfully concerned about what people think of ME and how well I have trained them. I need to guard what I say to them as we pull into the church parking lot. I need to look for ways to encourage them when we leave and carefully determine on what grounds I may need to correct them.
I don't want them to feel that the pressure is on to perform. Performance is fake, and it will either lead to self-righteousness or resentment. It is not true obedience.
They need to know that no matter where we are and who we are with, our actions, words, and thoughts need to be for the glory of God and out of sincere love for Him. I need to take them back to God's perfect standard. I need to remember that.
All of this has caused me to evaluate what is good church behavior. I don't think it's best to train little soldier-like kids who are seen and not heard (unless it's "yes ma'am" and "no sir" type speech). There's plenty of that in some circles, but to be honest it kind of turns me off. We don't need to be squelching our children's personalities! No, they were each made with a purpose and with a unique personality. We shouldn't seek to suppress that, or deny the simple fact that they are children.
Of course they need to be molded, directed, and instructed. They don't necessarily know what is reverent behavior, or proper social etiquette that varies according to the occasion and to the people present. But the reason for our behavior is to be clearly out of love for God and for others.
(Remember the roadside flowers we picked? They've turned into this pretty fluff.)
I want to love my kids. That sounds silly or simplistic, but I can't love them with a tender affection (Titus 2:4) and withhold grace and acceptance at the same time. I can't love them and burden them with expectations that are not of the Lord.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would mot be a servant of Christ. (Gal.1: 10)
~Katherine
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Ramblings, Priorities, and Worship
It's been raining out since we got up this morning, and now that half the family is napping I decided to cuddle up under the warmth of my laptop and attempt to post an entry today. It's funny how much my definition of "cold" has changed over the years! I used to go downhill skiing in temps so cold that my eyelashes would freeze together... and I loved it. Yesterday, as I was heading home with Olivia and a trunk load full of groceries, I felt a chill and mentioned to her that we needed to get dressed warmly before heading out for the evening. Then I glanced up at the rearview mirror where the outdoor temperature is digitally recorded. It was 73 degrees.
We have company coming in the next few day and I hope it warms up, or at least stops raining. I know, we're spoiled. So how's it going in Canada? ;)
The holidays are coming quickly, and everyone is getting excited. We also have two birthdays to celebrate between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so there will be no shortage of fun times. I'm excited about pulling out the Christmas decorations to liven up this dreary house we live in, and to fill it with the smell of fresh baked goodies.
Usually around this time of year I begin compiling gift ideas and storing purchased items in my closet. But because I'm also a tight wad, anything that is needed becomes a possible gift idea. If, for instance, someone needs new underwear, I file that away as a good stocking stuffer item! I kinda have to because I don't come up with good gift ideas easily. Not that underwear is a good idea, but I may as well wrap a needed sweater or pair of jeans and include them as valid gifts. Don't worry, plenty of fun stuff ends up under the tree, too.
Jon, on the other hand, becomes really generous around this time. He's better at living in the moment than I am, and doesn't think we should postpone giving gifts. I have been the beneficiary of his generosity this week. It's been a good week for me!
(Continuing from this afternoon...)
We had a ladies event at the church this morning and I was blessed and encouraged by the teaching. I'm looking forward to reviewing my notes later this week and coming up with a plan to implement some of the things I learned. It's always good to be reminded of what the Lord desires for me as a woman, and to be given ideas of how to better implement God's Word in my life.
For so many years it was difficult for me to attend such events, and on the rare occasion when it was possible, my heart was not always engaged. Its not that I didn't desire to learn and grow, it's just that I was painfully aware of how much I was needed at home. So today, after a particular conversation, I was reminded that I want to be the kind of person who encourages moms in that season of life.
I feel that often times women inadvertently put too much emphasis on ladies Bible studies, conferences, and such. In addition to church services and other bible studies (couples, etc.), it's just not possible to do it all AND fulfill family and household duties. Young moms can quickly become discouraged when they are made to feel less spiritual or less committed to pursuing godliness when they choose their God-given responsibilities over women's bible studies. I know that in my life I always had a strong sense of where I needed to be and what I needed to do, even if that conflicted with what others were saying. Too often, however, I also sensed disapproval from others which then lead to discouragement and a sense of failure.
I don't want to become one of those ladies who pressures. Little comments matter. I want to cheer young moms on, and encourage them in their priorities. Flexibility will come. We should never view our babies and small children as impediments to spiritual growth. Even during those seasons when simple quiet times are difficult, short, and interrupted, we need to remember that the circumstances we're in are God ordained and they are good. We can still worship. Yes, we worship in joyfully fulfilling the work set before us. We pray and depend on Him, we meditate on His Word and desire to grow. God is relational, and He is always present. Worship and spirituality is not determined by how much you studied, how long you prayed, and how many women's events and bible studies you attend.
In a culture when so many of us enter motherhood still unsure of what our priorities are and discover that our work is harder than we ever imagined, I want to become an encourager, one who affirms. I don't want to add burden and guilt.
We overheard Jacob talking to himself this week, and though it made us laugh, I loved the simple reminder.
He declared these words to himself:
We have company coming in the next few day and I hope it warms up, or at least stops raining. I know, we're spoiled. So how's it going in Canada? ;)
The holidays are coming quickly, and everyone is getting excited. We also have two birthdays to celebrate between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so there will be no shortage of fun times. I'm excited about pulling out the Christmas decorations to liven up this dreary house we live in, and to fill it with the smell of fresh baked goodies.
Usually around this time of year I begin compiling gift ideas and storing purchased items in my closet. But because I'm also a tight wad, anything that is needed becomes a possible gift idea. If, for instance, someone needs new underwear, I file that away as a good stocking stuffer item! I kinda have to because I don't come up with good gift ideas easily. Not that underwear is a good idea, but I may as well wrap a needed sweater or pair of jeans and include them as valid gifts. Don't worry, plenty of fun stuff ends up under the tree, too.
Jon, on the other hand, becomes really generous around this time. He's better at living in the moment than I am, and doesn't think we should postpone giving gifts. I have been the beneficiary of his generosity this week. It's been a good week for me!
We had a ladies event at the church this morning and I was blessed and encouraged by the teaching. I'm looking forward to reviewing my notes later this week and coming up with a plan to implement some of the things I learned. It's always good to be reminded of what the Lord desires for me as a woman, and to be given ideas of how to better implement God's Word in my life.
For so many years it was difficult for me to attend such events, and on the rare occasion when it was possible, my heart was not always engaged. Its not that I didn't desire to learn and grow, it's just that I was painfully aware of how much I was needed at home. So today, after a particular conversation, I was reminded that I want to be the kind of person who encourages moms in that season of life.
I feel that often times women inadvertently put too much emphasis on ladies Bible studies, conferences, and such. In addition to church services and other bible studies (couples, etc.), it's just not possible to do it all AND fulfill family and household duties. Young moms can quickly become discouraged when they are made to feel less spiritual or less committed to pursuing godliness when they choose their God-given responsibilities over women's bible studies. I know that in my life I always had a strong sense of where I needed to be and what I needed to do, even if that conflicted with what others were saying. Too often, however, I also sensed disapproval from others which then lead to discouragement and a sense of failure.
I don't want to become one of those ladies who pressures. Little comments matter. I want to cheer young moms on, and encourage them in their priorities. Flexibility will come. We should never view our babies and small children as impediments to spiritual growth. Even during those seasons when simple quiet times are difficult, short, and interrupted, we need to remember that the circumstances we're in are God ordained and they are good. We can still worship. Yes, we worship in joyfully fulfilling the work set before us. We pray and depend on Him, we meditate on His Word and desire to grow. God is relational, and He is always present. Worship and spirituality is not determined by how much you studied, how long you prayed, and how many women's events and bible studies you attend.
In a culture when so many of us enter motherhood still unsure of what our priorities are and discover that our work is harder than we ever imagined, I want to become an encourager, one who affirms. I don't want to add burden and guilt.
We overheard Jacob talking to himself this week, and though it made us laugh, I loved the simple reminder.
He declared these words to himself:
Yesterday was yesterday,
Tomorrow is tomorrow;
But today is the day that the Lord has made!
Yes, today is the day that the Lord has made!
Do-da, di-da.
This day - with all its circumstances, joys and hardships - is what the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!
~Katherine
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Journey
Short, spontaneous trips are one of our favorite things to do. There are no expectations and the break in the routine seems just right. Thursday morning we rushed through a "day" of school while Jon was at work, then we quickly packed and hit the road by lunchtime.
The journey was just as good as the destination.
In two hours, we drove through such a variety of climates, topography, and vegetation. It was amazing and it reconfirmed in me how much I love living here. We went from our coastal eucalyptus trees, through orange and avocado groves, desert shrubs, pine forests, and finally to palm lined streets in a desert oasis. The variety was astounding. We drove through farm fields and admired sleek black cows grazing on natural vegetation, we ascended and descended several thousand feet of elevation, and we enjoyed sunny swimming weather and a snow fall on the way back.
The drive was my favorite part of it all.
I love the stage that our family is in right now. I love that they are home and we don't answer to a school administration, and that our kids are happy with a simple, inexpensive trip to the pool. We can pack them in on a single hotel bed if we need to, we can split entrees, and Olivia and I can do a little shopping while the boys happily run around the fountain area.
The journey was just as good as the destination.
In two hours, we drove through such a variety of climates, topography, and vegetation. It was amazing and it reconfirmed in me how much I love living here. We went from our coastal eucalyptus trees, through orange and avocado groves, desert shrubs, pine forests, and finally to palm lined streets in a desert oasis. The variety was astounding. We drove through farm fields and admired sleek black cows grazing on natural vegetation, we ascended and descended several thousand feet of elevation, and we enjoyed sunny swimming weather and a snow fall on the way back.
The drive was my favorite part of it all.
I love the stage that our family is in right now. I love that they are home and we don't answer to a school administration, and that our kids are happy with a simple, inexpensive trip to the pool. We can pack them in on a single hotel bed if we need to, we can split entrees, and Olivia and I can do a little shopping while the boys happily run around the fountain area.
We made a quick stop along the way to prevent motion sickness because the roads were more like a roller-coaster at times. We pulled over next to this cool row of mailboxes.
Before the final descent.
We spent our first few hours at the pool, since the next day called for rain.
Why do boys gravitate to gross things?
We brought a little school work to do while Jon had his meeting...
It rained lightly the next, and I enjoyed seeing a wet desert. This picture was from a lookout on our way home, and at this elevation it was quite chilly. A little higher up and the rain turned to snow.
This is the road we took. There were times when one wrong swerve would have sent us plunging down the mountainside!
A nearly perfect fall scene! The white streaks agains the oak trees in the distance is snow. Proof for the skeptics.
The sweet guys in my life pulled the car over to pick some fall flowers for me despite bare skin exposed in the freezing cold. Those flowers now fill a huge ceramic pitcher and add fall-ish warmth to our house. (The ones above are dead... I used the stems with yellow blooms.)
This little get-away, this wonderful drive, gave me reason to think about the real journey of life. I want so badly to enjoy it, to appreciate each phase. Yes, I must keep my eyes on the finish line because it's the only way I can aim for the goal and plan for it; I also want to look back and know that I relished each part along the way. I don't want to wish away the long days and all the hard stuff, but I want to know that the Lord changed me and strengthened me as I looked to Him for wisdom and guidance through it all. I want to enjoy the blessings that I can so easily take for granted, and sincerely thank Him for teaching me through the times I feel most needy. I want to look back without regret. I want to savor.
~Katherine
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