Our weekend

I stayed home from church with a couple sick little boys this morning. I almost ended up with the whole bunch because I nearly missed getting the older two ready and out the door in time. We normally leave the house at 7:30, but this morning my head was in a fog of confusion and I didn't get Michael and Olivia up till 7:19. They were awake, but didn't realize how late it was since I'm normally the one who orchestrates the Sunday morning routine.

It was a bizarre night. Initially sleep eluded me because of the many things on my heart to pray about. I felt at peace, just not physically at rest. Eventually I slipped off to sleep for a while until I felt Jon kiss me. Oh, I love middle of the night, unexpected and random kisses! What a delight! Several hours later, in the early morning hours, I heard footsteps and a hoarse cough... Jacob had another nightmare. Jon scooped him up and placed him between us, his little hand holding mine and his head tucked under my chin. We all slipped in and out of sleep for a while, sleep interspersed with whispers of "I love you," until Jon carried him back up to bed. But I think Jacob must have passed on the nightmare bug, because after he left my dreams tormented me until morning. My alarm sounded and I ignored it hoping to sleep a little before dawn. Later I remember Jon hurriedly getting up to get ready for church, but at the time my mind made no mental connections. I went back to sleep and to another dream. Suddenly it was 7:19...

Michael and Olivia were quick. I did their hair while they ate, and they took their tooth brushes to church to finish getting ready while Jon was in elders' prayer.

The boys and I had a nice morning. There was needed down time for them, and the calm allowed me to do some reading. I've decided to read/study on the Person of the Holy Spirit because I have come to the conclusion that in my world this subject has been greatly overlooked. Perhaps there will be more on that another time, but for now I am very excited and I'm anticipating my life to be impacted.

Later in the morning, the boys went outside for some air and a change of scenery while I worked on lunch. They brought me in some blooms from a little fruit tree... the tree that hasn't produced fruit in the past but has several good branches of blooms this year. I thanked them. It was too late to say anything else. In a while I'll explain that the blooms turn to fruit. For now they grace my kitchen window sill, and I will look at them as the "fruit" of their love for me. (A stretch, maybe...)

Andrew's clothes were mismatched: He was wearing plaid shorts and a plaid shirt. Before breakfast I pointed out his clothes and casually said that what he was wearing didn't really work together, and so he changed into a different pair of plaid shorts. I guess I should have been more specific. At that point I didn't want to discourage him so I let him wear his chosen outfit. There are enough times when I have to make clothing choices, and today I didn't want to make issues about the unimportant. For a moment, however, when he was heading out the door to play I thought, "What will people passing by think? ...that his mother doesn't even care what he looks like?" Oh well, think what you may, dear passer-by.

Our end of week trip was fun. To us mini vacations tend to be more restful than longer times away. Maybe it's partly because they tend to be spontaneous and we have no specific agenda.

I was expecting it to be really cold (for the desert) so I didn't even ask the kids to pack their swim suits. I hid them in my bag thinking that maybe they would like to sit in the hot tub Thursday night. We ended up going to an open-air market instead, so the next morning while Jon was in a meeting, I surprised them with a trip to the pool. It was warmer than I ever expected, and the kids played in the pool while I roasted in my jeans.

Obviously, there were not a lot of people who expected to go swimming either.

It took Andrew a while to decide whether or not he wanted to swim without goggles...

In the end he chose not to be left out. Jacob didn't care if he had floaties or not... He was busy making friends with an old lady who loved to talk as much as he does.

We bought some breakfast food at the grocery store the night before. I let the kids pick out some cereal and they chose Rice Crispy. (To me they are empty puffs of nothingness, so I don't usually buy them.) It was Jacob's first experience with "Snap, crackle, pop!" He was intrigued.

OK. That's a little sad. They are not that sheltered, I promise.

And like I did the last few times we've taken a short trip, they were permitted to pack a few things themselves. Of course the boys all had plaid shirts-- an obsession at the moment--  but everyone brought pad folios and spy game disguises. I find it so amusing to watch them play.

It was a good thing we had our outdoor fun when we did because on our way out, really just miles out of town, we could see and feel a cold front coming through. I took some pictures from the car 'cause it was so pretty...

It poured on our way home and remained cold through the weekend. 

I think years from now I'll look back at our little getaways with fond memories. I feel so blessed for the flexibility we enjoy as a family, and I'm thankful for the time we have together. These years are fleeting and I want to make the most of them.

~Katherine

My desire...

Friday. Finally.

It was a good week, but I am so glad to step back from the daily chores and responsibilities for a moment. The children and I have joined Jon on a business trip to the desert and I am fully anticipating a great day. We worked hard on Monday (President's Day) to allow some time off at the end of the week. It was a fabulous feeling this morning, waking up next to Jon, and not feeling the urgent need to get up and start the day. Leisurely mornings are rare in our household, but I sure do love them!

I've got a million things whirling around in my head, gripping my heart. There are things to work through, to make right, and to understand. I feel the Lord working in me, and though I am filled with hope and thankfulness, I am fully aware that He is taking me to where I have not been before. I have a more real longing and need to know Jesus and to be known by Him.

I read this recently, and though I don't know a thing about the author, I have returned to his words several times. I don't want to be held back by doubt or fear. I want to fully know the power that is at my disposal through the work of the Holy Spirit. I want to walk, moment by moment, in a relationship with that Spirit.

“I dare to say that it is possible for those who really are willing to reckon on the power of the Lord, for keeping and victory, to lead a life in which His promises are taken as they stand, and are found to be true. It is possible to cast our care on Him daily, and to enjoy deep peace in doing it. It is possible to have the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts purified in the deepest meaning of the word, through faith. It is possible to see the will of God in everything, and to receive it, not with sighing, but with singing. It is possible, in the inner life of desire and feeling, to lay aside all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and evil speaking, every day and every hour. It is possible, by taking complete refuge in divine power, to become strong through and through; and where previously our greatest weakness lay, to find that the things which formerly upset all our resolves to be patient, or pure, or humble, furnish today an opportunity to make sin powerless—through Him who loved us, and works in us an agreement with His will, and a blessed sense of His presence and His power. These things are divine possibilities, and because they are His work, the true experience of them will always cause us to bow lower at His feet, and to learn to thirst and long for more. We cannot possibly be satisfied with anything less than to walk with God—each day, each hour, each moment, in Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Bishop Handley C. G. Moule (1841-1920)

I am encouraged also by the Psalm (the chapter and verse I cannot recall at the moment) that says the Lord will give us the desires of our heart. He can give us what we desire, but He also gives us the desire itself. And he gives good things. I think he has given me desires that can only be explained as coming form Him, and I see newness in what my heart is seeking. I feel lead to pray differently. And I walk by faith.

Lord, help me.


Katherine

Alleys

Everyone is in bed... Jon hit the sack a 8:30, and I'm hoping he's not getting sick.

It's raining hard again tonight and I'm wearing two sweaters because it's so cold inside. I'm loving the quiet, and even though I have been feeling tired lately I think I could stay up for hours listening to the rain. It sounds like the windows are open and when the wind blows I can feel a breeze. As long as I don't change positions here on the sofa, I'm able to keep warm.

Last week we spent a couple days in the central valley farming community. We enjoyed staying in our friends' amazing log cabin for a night. We ate Swedish pancakes, walked the streets of a quaint little town, visited friends, and drove through orchards and groves. The kids played outside and got plenty dirty. Olivia and I actually finished up those scarves before leaving. It was a nice change of scenery.

One afternoon, we ducked into a little alley that had some good lighting for pictures. Andrew was a little distracted so he didn't make it into very many shots...

The kids thought it was great that we were in an alley. The older two especially have revived their game of "Alley Kids" and I think it's the cutest thing! They play for hours, choosing what to wear based on what looks the most "alley-ish" (which is to say old-fashion and poor).

Usually the game takes place in the afternoon at the top of the stairs and in the bedrooms, but I have yet to really discover how to play. I want to make a point of entering this world soon. I think parents can get to know their kids in a different way by playing with them. I don't take it for granted that they are still telling me about their games and fantasies, and I never want them to think I am uninterested or that I would consider them silly. If they begin to think those things now, I shouldn't be surprised if they choose to cut me off in the not-so-distant future.

 Michael is especially fun to take pictures of... I don't know, but he like the camera.

Yesterday I found myself in another place full of alleys, but these were the scary, dangerous looking alleys that I shouldn't have been anywhere near. I had decided on taking the kids to a museum down town. I was forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone and fear of driving in certain places. I entered the address in my GPS and figured I wasn't too country-girl to get there on my own. I've actually driven there once before, so I wasn't overly concerned.

Well, I ended up miles away from where I wanted to be. When the GPS lady said, "You have arrived at your destination," I was in a alley leading to the back of a grocery store in a dumpy part of town. "Fine," I thought, "I'll enter the address in my phone and use the navigation system to get back on track." The kids were listening to an audiobook, and didn't really care that we were a little turned around. I guess they're used to it.

So I got back on the freeway heading toward those daunting skyscrapers once again. The freeway runs parallel to another freeway and it looked like there are about 25 lanes of traffic. I kept glancing down to my phone, trying to figure out what exit to take. It kept turning off making it difficult to figure out where in world I was and where I should be going. After I practically rear ended someone, I turned off the audiobook so that the kids could help me look for signs and stopping traffic. The map on my phone made it look like there should be one freeway, not two side-by-side. Of course I needed to be on the other one to transfer onto the freeway running perpendicular. So I took the next exit hoping to drive down a surface street till I found an onramp to the freeway I needed to be on.

Well it wasn't so easy. Now I was in the armpit of the city. No, make that that crotch.

There was lots of construction, making it difficult to get to where I thought I should go. I kept driving this way and that until I was thoroughly lost. I couldn't even find a place to pull over and figure out the map. We drove and drove, going in circles mostly. Everything was surrounded by iron gates, and there was absolutely no street parking available.

And there were alleys with people who didn't look like they would be able to help direct me. I must have checked to make sure our doors were locked a dozen times.

Ironically, when we were stopped at a red light, a man next to me rolled down his window to ask me for directions.

At this point the kids were trying to be sympathetic by saying, "It's OK if we just go home, Mom."

I was so frustrated I could have screamed at the whole city. But defeat wasn't an option.

I parked illegally and together we memorized the street names and directions we needed to take. Someone honked at me, forcing me to get going once more.

We finally did find the museum. It took us two hours from the time we left home, but at least we made it. We ate our picnic lunch (while I stopped fuming!) and spent the rest of the afternoon having a grand time.

Going home was easy, even in the rain and long weekend traffic. The only alley I want to be around anytime soon is a fantasy alley with my alley kids.


~Katherine

More on Love

I had a great opportunity this morning. It was one of those times with a child that was not forced, and I am so grateful for all the little circumstances leading up to it. It was an open window, a chance to speak truth to an open heart.

It has been a rough road for Michael recently, and he has been frustrated with various difficulties. He has questioned why and complained about a certain reality. He is trying to understand, but my words have not been received with the desire to accept, only to resist. Like I have done too many times before, he didn't view God's plan as good and loving, but rather a curse.

Today was different.

Once again he questioned, but his tone and intention was different. He really did want to understand. We talked about God planning every detail of our lives before time began, and how much He loves us. We once again discussed God orchestrating every detail for His glory and our good. And with the help of the Holy Spirit, I helped him to see how adversity leads us to our knees in dependence upon Him, and through that God can strengthen us and build us up. There is always purpose because God love us that much!

(These pictures were taken early last summer while he was playing "Alley Kids" in his ripped up shirt.)

Recently in my own study I have been meditating on some passages in Lamentations, and so I took out my Bible to show him what the Word says. 

Regarding adversity in our life:

"Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both good and ill go forth?" Lam. 3:37-38

Regarding the Lord's love, compassion, and help in the mist of hardship:

"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lam. 3:22-23

"For the Lord will not reject forever, for if He causes grief, then He will have compassion according to His abundant lovingkindness." Lam.3:31-32

"You have heard my voice, "Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief, from my cry for help." You drew near when I called on You; You said, "Do not fear!"

O Lord, You have pleaded my soul's cause; You have redeemed my life." Lam. 3:56-59

And many times God doesn't remove the "ill" or the trial/adversity, because he gave it to us in order to accomplish His purposes. But we can walk through it by His power and bring Him the glory. We must humbly let Him have His way with our lives.

Later Michael asked me if I could help him find the same verses in his Bible so he could highlight them. Precious. I pray that God will transform this little boy and work mightily in his life.

For Michael's sake I am so thankful for the Lord's work and promptings today, and for the encouragement it brought me.

Katherine

Considering true love

Valentine's Day. It has never been our favorite holiday. Jon and I have always disliked the cheesiness and commercialization. We don't like being told when to be romantic, what type of gifts we should exchange, or that we need to join the masses for a date. For us, this drains away the sincerity. Maybe its our independent spirit coming through, our resistance to being told what to do and how.

Nonetheless, I am happy for the chocolate that coms our way. And I do know that I am married to a sweet husband, who is romantic and generously shows his love for me in all sorts of unexpected ways. I am so grateful for him.

My kids, on the other hand, knew exactly what day it was the minute they woke up and they were eager to celebrate. I wanted them to feel special and to instruct them on what love is. It was good for me to reflect on the love of God today.

In the afternoon, I took out all the construction paper and some other craft supplied and let them be creative. Even though I put out stacks of pinks and reds, it was funny to me that the boys ended up using mostly orange paper. I guess the traditional colors are too girly, or maybe their color blindness was throwing them for a loop.

I baked while they created, and my kitchen is now decorated with paper hearts and a pipe cleaner heart link.

My favorite time today was when we talked about God's love during lunch. Wow! If we could only really understand how much He loves us!

"We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us..." 1 John 3:16

"We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

The words that follow these verses are so instructive on how we ought to love one another. I think we will stay on this topic a while longer, for my sake and theirs.

And we can never be reminded enough of 1 Cor. 13:4-7. It's so familiar, yet how easily we fail to really love. It's a matter of being empty of ourselves, laying down our lives. There is no place for the beast of self.

Lord, by your strength alone we can grow in our love for You and for each other!

"Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,

My lips will praise you."

Ps. 63:3

Katherine

Hiking

One of my favorite things to do is hike. I have always loved being out in nature. Wherever I've lived I have always been quick to discover places to hike. Last week, with the slight and momentary drop in the temperature, we set out for a hike overlooking the city. This particular hike doesn't provide much shade, so I generally avoid it during the hottest months.

We set out mid-afternoon and stayed until the sun began to set. We had to hurry down before the parking area closed up... I've heard several people say they've been locked in and there's no cell phone reception in the canyon should that ever happen.

I wish I could remember what cause the kids to crack up this way, but I think it had something to do with Jack standing behind me. I took a series of pictures of them laughing and it makes me laugh every time I look through them.

These two make the best pals. I just love to see Michael looking out for his sister. Such sweeties!

The little boys usually tire out long before the rest of us are ready to turn around, so the promise of a snack or a picnic when we reach our destinations usually keeps them going. Jacob rode on my back for a  couple minutes until he realized he couldn't stop for sticks and rocks. There are lots of pretty things to stop and look at, even for me. I love anything green because in another couple months I'll be looking at mostly browns.

This time our destination was an old burnt down structure in the middle of a clearing. There's no road in sight, and only a large chimney and parts of the foundation remains. There's a bunch shattered painted tile, which the kids like to call ancient pottery. It's the perfect place to have a snack and play.

There are always lizards sitting out in the sun, and Michael usually catches one for each of his siblings. They become pets for the afternoon. Michael and his lizards... what can I say! He used to want us to nickname him "Lizard". 

Here, Michael is showing everyone another lizard...

Jacob likes to find "treasures" and build. He was very serious about this hobby, and super proud of his accomplishments. I just love that boy!

We played till our shadows began to get long. The trek down is always fast and I'm constantly reminding  everyone to slow down. No matter, speed is more fun (but the spills that result always send us home with a few scrapes).

Michael was a sweetheart and insisted on carrying the backpack because my back has been giving me trouble recently.

What a blessed life! 

"Our soul waits for the Lord;

He is our help and our shield.

For our heart rejoices in Him, 

Because we trust in His holy name.

Let your lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us,

According as we have hoped in You."

Ps. 33:20-22

~Katherine